I moved into a new room in college at the start of this term, which I really like apart from one fairly major drawback. I’m having real trouble with the girl across the corridor. She uses my cutlery, makes horribly loud spitting noises when brushing her teeth and plays Taylor Swift throughout the day with her door open. I’ve put up with it for weeks now and I like to think I’m fairly laid back, but it’s getting to the stage where I try to spend as little time in my room as possible. It’s driving me insane. What should I do?

Having trouble with a nightmare neighbour is always an awkward problem as it’s difficult to know how to correct it. On the one hand, you don’t want to come across as uptight, boring, or sense-of-humour-deficient. On the other hand, it’s really quite annoying and, if left unchecked, could slowly deprive you of your sanity.

I’ve never really been a fan of the surprisingly popular remedy to this problem, used by irritated students the world-over: the passive aggressive post-it note. I don’t think neon reminders to “please brush your teeth as quietly as possible” or “remember, blue-handled cutlery is property of X” will do a lot to solve your problem, and they really will just make you look like a douche.

Now, anyone who plays Taylor Swift in a public forum clearly has no regard for the feelings of others, so I’d be inclined to suggest that you might not take her well-being into consideration when thinking about your next move. I know the situation seems anything but enjoyable at the moment, but I really think you could have some fun here. Why not give as good as you get and become the neighbour from hell? You might want to consider forgoing the washing-up, offering to host a weekly post-Cindies after party, and taking up the violin. If she approaches you to ask if you might change your ways in future, this gives you the chance to bring up a few requests of your own.

If you don’t fancy the ‘fight fire with fire’ approach, perhaps store your cutlery in your room, invest in some ear plugs, maybe even have a quiet word with her, and realise that compromising on a few things is part of the process of living in tiny student halls.

In case you missed Becca's last column on Valentine crushes, read it here.

To bother Becca, send your questions to confess@varsity.co.uk