The comical drawings of former Cantabrigian cartoonists never fail to catch my eye each time I read the Varsity noughties archives, and so I’ve been inspired to put together this collection of satirical sketches revealing the various concerns of Cambridge students from the early 2000s. These caricatures ridicule issues ranging from the perpetual worries regarding rising student fees to the paranoia following the proposed Gardies closure.
Money, Money, Money
Money is a predominant theme in these noughties lampoons due to the rising cost of student tuition at the time (oh how the times have changed…). This humorous caricature of feasting university staff from October 2002 reacts to the university’s plan to increase tuition fees by £4000.
This November 2003 sketch of a villainous, gowned academic questions the University’s new bursary system as a potential “gimmick to justify top-up fees” rather than a scheme which would “transform access to Cambridge and give the poorest students £4000 a year”.
A Winter 2001 cartoon, however, mocks the apathy of students regarding the shockingly underattended NUS organised demonstration against tuition fees. A senior officer of the Cambridge constabulary even criticised CUSU’s rally claiming that £10,000 was wasted on police resources.
Drinking soc drama
A November 2001 cartoon made fun of the absurdity of the outrage sparked among the Catz fellows and JCR following the “posse of naked girls” who ran across the college. A Varsity writer praises the girls for their “total abandon and decadence” and derides the “surprising amount of conservatism in modern Cambridge”. A History don in the same issue asks “Why does it need a special repressive comment if girls get drunk and misbehave” and condemns the Dean of St. Catharine’s for “classifying women and making assumptions”. In a Q&A in this issue, students responded to the query “Do students drink too much?” with comments such as “Do fish?” and “getting drunk is a good remedy for stress and part of the enjoyment of university”.
A week later, another scandal concerning the antics of drunk students took the University by storm; “John’s students urinate[d] on staircase”, as evidenced in this parodic sketch. This affair similarly involved a tasteless response from a Dean and led to a media scandal which involved national papers “writing vitriolic articles” and journalists “skulking in cloisters”. Varsity reported that inebriated students were individually named in a notice from the Dean displayed in the porters’ lodge, alongside individual punishments following a raucous night of “food fights in hall, vomiting, running amok around the quads and urinating in a college building”.
“A week later, another scandal concerning the antics of drunk students took the University by storm”
The debauchery was linked to the Muff Divers, a John’s drinking society primarily made up of rugby players, and the Sirens, the women’s drinking society at the college. A disgusted Johnian told Varsity “It’s disgusting. If they had done that at school they would have been expelled […] I can’t believe that at the age of 21 they’re still behaving like that”. The JCR President, however, labelled this as “normal student life”, pointed out that “if you go into the town on a Friday night you will see lots of blacked out blokes pissing on walls, why should it make a difference whether they are blokes or girls or whether it is a college wall”, and held an emergency meeting with the Dean about the “name and shame tactics used by the college”.
High Harry
In January 2002, the rumour that Prince Harry was headed for Trinity made it to Varsity’s satirists, with one student joking “It’s pot luck but weed let him in”. Another writer remarked that “the Prince should fit in well here”, given that, according to a Varsity survey, two-thirds of Cambridge students were in favour of legalising cannabis.
Goodbye Gardies
Although this Cambridge institution faced closure in Michaelmas 2003, as a fortunate result of a Varsity campaign, it is still serving our post-night out desires. Students responded to this threat with a petition (signed by at least 3000 people), prayers, a Latin poem, a JCR motion, and a host of other desperate acts. This sketch of a doomsday prepper highlights the vehement terror that seized the student body at the time.
Relatable representations
I will now leave you with some noughties mockery which is still far too relatable: 2001 exam disappointment, 2003 May Week small talk, and a November 2003 depiction of Week 5 blues (as much as I am trying to cling onto summer, those Michaelmas fifth week blues are coming for all of us worryingly soon).
