Last September, I packed up my mum’s car with a ridiculous number of items I had never used and embarked on the journey to start my first year as a Cambridge undergrad. As my playlist rang out, I sat in silence with both excitement and anxiety, feeling a little sick as we approached the gates of Pembroke College. Freshers’ week was a whirlwind of clubs, people, worry, and laughter - but one of the best things about it was undoubtedly the college families.

Confused laughter rings out whenever I tell people from home about Cambridge’s unique system of partnering ‘married’ second or third-year students with incoming freshers to create a ‘college family’. Only at Cambridge can you be unsure what your friends mean when talking about their ‘parents’. It is a genuine toss-up between whether they’re referring to the older years or their parents back home. But college weddings are unique activities that brought me closer to my friends last year. The whole concept is a long-standing tradition, yet far from outdated. And the ‘families’ that emerge from ‘marriage’ have the potential to make things easier for freshers, while providing other years with something to anticipate. As someone currently working to ‘match the families’ at my college, it’s clear that second-years await ‘family night’ the most eagerly.

“The ‘families’ that emerge from ‘marriage’ have the potential to make things easier for freshers”

Of course, experiences in and of Freshers’ week and college families greatly differ between colleges. At Emmanuel, third-year students are the parents, and they both must take different subjects. However, at my college, Pembroke, the parents are second-years and there are few rules on who you can marry. We have two scheduled college family nights in Freshers’ week, while some colleges do not have any. Despite their differences, all Cambridge colleges have the right idea by offering a ‘family’ system in various ways.

Cambridge boasts a difficult academic workload, which often tries to hamper socialising during Freshers’ week (or rather Freshers’ week until Thursday rolls around), but these aspects of the collegiate system help to remedy this. College families made my socialising less strenuous by introducing me to close friends in all years. I certainly felt settled in far sooner than my friends at other universities, which is a necessity when a deadline finds its way into your life four days after moving in.

College families are truly a privilege afforded to us by this collegiate system: a system encouraging community within a sizeable university. My sixth form college was large, meaning friendships took time as the outside of the classroom was one giant pool of anonymity. I have found that having the college as my base, in which I could always see familiar faces, has immensely benefitted me. In my experience, college families are an easier route to making friends, which most other universities cannot provide. At Pembroke, families are matched through similar answers about hobbies, interests and ideal nights out on a form. ‘Siblings’ therefore have the potential to become close friends and inter-year friendships flourish.

“College families are an easier route to making friends, which most other universities cannot provide”

Not everyone will be close with their college parents and siblings; for some, it will be a group they spend time with only once or twice, but this does not diminish their importance. College parents can be incredibly useful to the anxious fresher by giving advice, easing worries, and making introductions to other ‘families’. My parents eased how overwhelmed I felt in my first few days at Cambridge and sent me essays as guidance when I had a crisis (inevitably) about my first one.

Most importantly, feeling welcomed by others in the college, especially those who have been there for longer, is a great antidote to imposter syndrome. The new and daunting environments of Cambridge’s colleges can exacerbate the feeling that you do not belong. Parents and siblings with similar interests to your own are the best way to ensure you reach a sense of belonging and comfort. No matter what, despite articles such as this, every year there will be freshers who feel completely alone in their anxiety, thinking everyone else has it together. Maybe (and hopefully) college parents can debunk this myth for them. I will tell my college children how nervous I was. But I would have willingly studied in the Seeley (my least favourite place in Cambridge despite being a historian) before admitting this to other freshers last year!

Whether they are a short-lived social occasion, a chance to help freshers find their feet, or an opportunity to blossom an ongoing friendship, college families are one of the best social aspects of collegiate life. The stress of academic work and the need to meet deadlines suggests social life at Cambridge needs to be made easier in this way. I am certain that this helpful Freshers’ scheme should continue to be embraced by all college JCRs and freshers alike.