Romantic gestures mean something different to everyone. Some love them, some hate them, some are just not sure how to deal with them; some make them, some break them, some pretend, just for the sake of them.

Roses are red, violets are blue- Ah, enough with the rhyme already! Tell me, what's your vie- perspective?

 

HERE IN THE BRIDGE- we ask students what they think about romantic gestures

“Romantic gestures- who wouldn’t? Flowers or plants [maybe a cactus since it doesn’t need any water? Or any plastic vegetation], PDA [rampant sex in the library/lecture room] and chocolate [or tiramisu- sugar, coffee and alcohol, good for the second!]” Steve Sze, Magdalene

“With regards to romantic gestures - I think they're super if they're surprising and thought out but not great if they're linked to some pseudo/bogus national excuse to eat chocolate” Leaf Arbuthnot, Magdalene

“They’re potentially pretty awkward- not really what the Brits go in for!” Gill Harris, New Hall

“Before going away on my year abroad, so that my girlfriend wouldn’t get lonely, I made her a clay mould of my penis” Anonymous fourth-year linguist

AROUND THE COUNTRY- we talk to students at other universities about romantic gestures in their neck of the woods

LANCASTER

“Hm, romantic proposals! Well I’ve been taken to the Lake District, and bought a few drinks; that's where the romance ends! Romantic proposals would be amazing, although sometimes cringe, I guess!” University of Lancaster

LEEDS

“Well a boy who is now in his first year here as he did a gap year last year sent me a huge box of Interflora roses (16 of them) in the post anonymously...That was a bit much…” University of Leeds

“Romance?! No idea mate. Lots of love through MD though I reckon” University of Leeds

LONDON

“Well the only proper anonymous Valentines card I've ever got ended a friendship because the person who sent it got offended that I didn't say thank you - even though it was just signed 'your valentine'” Central Saint Martins

I love romantic gestures if they're done well and if they're genuine. Nothing too cheesy though. I’m still with my boyfriend from when I finished at secondary school, but I did get a random ultimatum, from a guy I barely knew in my first year, to break up with my boyfriend because this guy was apparently ‘more awesome’. From what friends tell me, guys are not very romantic here, more like the opposite. Kings College, London

SOUTHAMPTON

Are people in Southampton particularly 'romantic'? I would say no, unless you call offering a girl your trainers or a hoody to accompany her walk of shame/stride of pride home in fancy dress the morning after a rather raucous night at JESTERS 'romantic'. Received any weird or awkward gifts or declarations of love since my arrival? Yes, in fact I have - rather awkward and one that made me make an error in judgement. I was completely won over by a gesture. Someone turned up at my halls 20 minutes before I was set to return home to London for the Christmas Vacation (I wasn't even back from my seminar yet) and on arriving at halls to find them standing there, they abruptly kissed me and told me that they would miss me greatly, or something along those lines. And with that, my mind went all blurry and I think I was won over by the sentiment/gesture and thus entered into a relationship with them (which I had terminated by the first day of semester 2). It just wasn't for me... my mind/heart had been clouded by the romantic gesture. Yes, the gesture was effective, too effective. University of Southampton

AROUND THE WORLD- how do international attitudes to romance differ to our own?

ARGENTINA

On a standard night out in Palermo, Buenos Aires: “We have a rule here, in Argentina. If your boyfriend is more than 10,000 miles away, he does not count. Now kiss me.” Emily Fitzell, Trinity and Luisa Filby, Newnham

RUSSIA

“Yes, people in Russia LOVE romantic gestures! Especially flowers, which you can (read should) buy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Very common to see thick-set Russian thug built like brick shit-house and looking rock 'ard carrying a bunch of roses (pointing downwards...most people will correct you for incorrect carriage of flowers). When I talked to my friend Vova about this, he said "ah, u kazhdogo svoya liubov" which roughly translates as "ah, everybody has their love one". Most of my friends are pretty appalled that I have only received flowers from my boyfriend once, and we've been going out for quite a while, AND he only gave them as an apology after he was sick in my bag, wiped it down my legs, and tried to get out of a moving taxi on the highway. So very romantic context, I'm sure you agree.” YA student

SWEDEN

“Oh. Tricky question. I'd say it depends on the definition of romance. Sweden is by swedes in general considered the least romantic country of Europe. We consider ourselves kind of cold, distanced and introverted. But as I said it depends on how you define romance. Romance as in giving flowers and boxes of chocolate, no. Serenade singing in the moonlight, no. However I would say that the key to understanding romance in Scandinavia is Finland. It’s more than anything romance through nostalgia and melancholia, and this is the Finnish national sport - being sad and getting drunk. But things are rapidly changing, the whole valentine’s day thing is catching on in Sweden, mostly with young people though. So I think nowadays it’s kind of common to do stuff with your girlfriend/boyfriend and not be an asshole on Valentine’s Day. Short answer is no. Swedes are not particularly romantic. I personally kind of like the idea of romantic love and flowers (if they're stolen and someone blushes). But it’s not that common, apart from on Valentine’s Day. Long answer is that there is another romance with other motifs in Scandinavia.” Lucas Brichetto, Linné universitetet, the Linné University, Sweden (after the guy who named all the plants)

SPAIN

“Well over here, the Spanish are very open about their feelings. People shout ‘guapa’ at you down the street, and occasionally something a bit more obscene, but definitely not in a romantic way, more like a creepy-please-stop-looking-at-me-that-way, way. When you’re out they’re funny as well- I’ve had one declaration of love in a club. He literally just came and stood in front of me and told me he loved me, and sort of stared a bit. It was a bit awkward if I’m honest! I don’t think they’re used to rejection” Lucy Peacock, YA student, Trinity

THE PREVIOUS GENERATION- who had it more right?

“We were dating for 3-4 months and I booked a trip to California with friends. Before I left, I made a music tape with lots of songs I felt were poignant, interspersed with my romantic sweet-nothings. I also included instructions on how much to listen to each day. My wife remembers it very fondly and I think she realised while I was away that she may become my wife one day. She still has the tape.” Anonymous

"My husband's idea of a romantic gesture is talking to me at half time when Man Utd are playing on the TV! No, seriously though, in terms of romantic gestures he makes a good quorn spag bol even though he's not a veggie like me and he will still eat it. (If that's not love-). Other things like booking a restaurant, buying me flowers or organising a surprise trip to the theatre. And when my back's a little bit sore from coughing when I'm ill, he will give me a little massage. For my part, the year that he had his ski accident and was on life support in Colorado I sent him a card to the hospital with photos of us inside from different occasions and wrote little messages next to each photo. His mum and brother used to read it to him everyday while he was in a coma. I also like to get him a packet of his favorite sweets, wrap them up and write a little message inside for him to read." Anonymous

AND THE GENERATION BEFORE THEM

“We came over to England with nothing more than two small suitcases between us. When I was twenty, he asked me to marry him, and I was, of course, delighted. That was about it. There weren’t many people at the wedding; ten people, maybe- there were no big weddings in those days. The rest of the family was back in Ireland. But in here, in London, we were married and here, in London we find ourselves now, nearly fifty years down the line, still dawdling along, still happy.”

“Yes, when we got married first, we couldn’t afford much, so there were no big romantic gestures. Mary had already moved over to London, and two months later, I followed her over here. The day after my arrival, I went to see her, and that very day, I proposed; well there was no point waiting around! (I thought she might run away on me, you see).  I got down on one knee, (I had good knees back then), and asked her, in that most Irish of ways, if she’d like to be buried with my people. Of course, she obliged, and here we find ourselves today.” Anonymous couple, who celebrated their 49th wedding anniversary last week

Happy Valentine's Day