What does it mean to be successful? This question has fixated me for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I was only ever exposed to four career and study paths deemed ‘respectable’: Business, Medicine, Law and Engineering.

I am blessed with an extremely supportive family, with parents who’ve never put pressure on my brothers and me to choose specific subjects in school. Literature, languages and humanities were more than encouraged; they had a central place at dinner table conversations. However, my parents’ face when I told them I was considering studying Spanish at university was enough to remind me that my passion subjects should probably remain just that: side interests. It was unspoken, but understood, that we would choose a stable, lucrative career path.

In secondary school, I fell in love with the idea of law: fighting against injustice, dismantling unjust systems, the prestige, its representation in pop culture and, well, the money. Every time an adult would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would proudly declare that I wanted to be a lawyer. I became the objective judge in friendship fights and spent my afternoons consuming news and TV shows to do with the world of law, Dona and Rachel from ‘Suits’ were my icons much before the royal wedding. I clung to this big-shot lawyer dream until I was sixteen. Yet I soon realised I would probably hate the paperwork of being a solicitor, or the unfairly low pay of a human rights lawyer I felt defeated and thought I might just as well pick a job that will meet my parents’ expectations; being completely blind to the fact that those expectations were just for me to be happy in what I do.

“Success is a subjective reality, and it is your own personal definition of it that should shape your goals, relationships, and daily life”

A very lost and confused me finished her GCSEs, and embarked on a turning point of a year eleven summer. I was lucky enough to go on a summer camp to Costa Rica, living with host families, speaking the language, and most importantly, being the most vulnerable I had ever been with a group of strangers who, after three weeks crammed together in a van driving through narrow mountainside roads, luscious rainforests and cascades, became some of my best friends. These fourteen teenagers were some of the most unconventional people I have met to this day. One was starting a career in the world of country music, another was working for the NYC mayor’s office as a youth representative and our camp leader was doing a Master’s in biology just so she could stay in research stations around the world for free, and had spent two years working as a diving instructor in California. These people showed me that it really wasn’t that insane to pursue something because you love it, something off the beaten path, something that doesn’t necessarily make you rich, but allows you to see the sunrise on the beach every day if that’s what you want.

My perspective on success shifted completely. Success is a subjective reality, and it is your own personal definition of it that should shape your goals, relationships, and daily life. Yet, somehow the word has been compressed to a one-dimensional concept, one that is so hard to remodel to fit your dreams and needs without the aggregation of parental worry, anxious comparison to friends and self-inflicted pressure. I’ve learnt that not knowing what I want to do, but knowing what I want to avoid at all costs, is just as valuable as having a clear set career path. This step back has also helped me define the values of openness, compassion and curiosity, that I want to surround myself with to achieve my personal success. Realising I would hate an office job does not undermine the good reasons why “traditional” jobs are so widespread – everyone’s goals and definition of happiness are unique.

The future still terrifies me. Uncertainty is terrifying, but so is the thought of being burned out at forty in an office job I hate, but am too afraid to leave. My dream is to work for myself and experiment within different creative fields of business and media, but I have little to no clue as to how to get there – all the while knowing that we’ll be graduating in a world in recession, that is set to impact our entire generation.

However, I am starting to find comfort in the uncertainty. Many have painfully discovered this year that the ‘sensible route’ can implode as much as any other. I still don’t have a concrete plan for my future, but I’ve learned that I value my freedom more than anything else. This might involve sacrifices: I’m willing to compromise on my salary if it means exploring creative avenues such as the world of journalism and documentary filmmaking; I don’t mind putting off having a family of my own if that allows me to travel the world, and I’m willing to work sixteen hour days if it means pouring my heart and soul into rewarding projects that make a difference.

The future excites me, and personally, I wouldn’t trade that feeling for a safe 9 to 5 – I’m ready to jump on a flight to Latin America and figure it out from there.