College – St John’s

School – King’s Canterbury

Date of birth – 23.10.1988

Date of death – 23.06.2011, sometime around midday.
Sexuality - Straight

Ethnicity - Caucasian

Religion – If I find myself re-incarnated, that could hold considerable sway.

Emergency contact – Caroline Marks (St John’s College Choir Administrator)

Smoker? Only on Sundays (although that isn’t going too well currently...)

No. Of sexual partners? I’m a serial ‘relationshipalist’

No of pets? Only room-mate Ace Owen to speak of presently...

 Mental health problems - Negative

Favourite book? Crime and Punishment, Dostoyevsky

Actual favourite book? An Equal Music, Vikram Seth

What are you reading? A riveting little number by Emile Durkheim: The Elementary Forms of Religious Life

Where do you live? With free roaming cattle in Minchinhampton, Gloucestershire.

Where do you sleep? In my turret (no it’s literally a turret with a bed in it).

Where will you be on Wednesday night? Oh I love to smash up Cindies with all the lads, slash probably the Maypole.

When did you first realise that you wanted to be a megalomaniac? When I realised that it was a wonderful excuse to put-off doing any work.

Who’s your favourite dictator? Karl Marx (above mentioned Choir Administrator’s alter-ego)

What’s the working title for your spill-all memoirs? Dom, Ralph, Gui? You decide.

How many copies will it sell? I would hope to see a single copy in an Oxfam Bookshop shortly after its release.

Who’s your Cambridge arch-nemesis? Alex ‘Ace’ Owen (keep your enemies close).

What’s the worst joke you’ve ever heard? ‘I love writing jokes about pencils – the punch-lines write themselves.’ Of course, in connection with the previous question, that has ruined his next Smoker performance.

If you could rule any country (UK and USA aside) which would it be? Probably somewhere in south-east Asia, because then I could, like, totally just, sort of, er... re-like-live my gap year for the rest of my er... like life or something... er... yeah.

When you’re rich and powerful and the university is offering to name something after you, what will you request? A giant horse, made out of leather in order to commemorate the current slightly small horse made out of a cow that sits on my desk. Alternatively the biggest, best, fittest and fastest college ever.

What did you want to be when you grew up? A maths professor.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Anything which doesn’t involve being a Maths Professor.

What’s the key to happiness? A set of decanters and a full cabinet of glass-based objects/vessels (or port-sippers – an intriguing new addition courtesy of my recent birthday – thank you Yonz!)

What will be written on your gravestone? Here lie Dom, Ralph and Gui.

Who would play you in the film of your life? Damien Lewis or Toby Stevens (slim pickings when you’re a ginger).

Who will play your arch-nemesis in the film of your life? Well, probably Ace Owen. I feel he has the necessary acting skills to recreate the complex and fascinating character that is Ace Owen.

Which pokemon would play you in the cartoon of your life? Are there any ginger pokemon, or whatever the plural of ‘Pokemon’ is...?

What’s next for  Dom Collingwood? Undisclosed.

Do you have anything you’d like to ask us? Any ideas for a Main Act? Unfortunately, booking Michael Jackson five years in advance for an up-front payment of £5m now seems a little premature...