“Both are posh” and “clubs [are] equally dismal” are probably the two most irrefutable comments I’ve received from Oxonians in comparing Oxford and Cambridge.

The poshness is really no surprise. “It’s like comparing a Gucci handbag to a Prada handbag, it’s tacky to do so,” says Lorelei Jackson-Sarova, a now-Cambridge Master’s student who spent her past six years in Oxford. To compare the poshness between the two is a fool’s errand, as she brazenly comments that both cities are composed of “pretentious brats who think trench coats are a qualification for talking about literature.”

Whilst Oxford has a more vibrant pub scene, it seems that its clubs fail to outcompete ‘Wevs’ and ‘Frash’. On the note of clubs, though, Lorelei thinks that there are more coat theft in Cambridge (please leave her “cunty brown fur coat” at Magdalene plodge if you have accidentally stolen it). That being said, many students, Oxonians and Cantabs alike, still have a silver lining in finding love in these dismal niteries. “Women are gorg,” is Lorelei’s observation. While ‘Queer Get Down’ is long gone with ‘Raid’ currently fading, perhaps this observation hints that both cities should hold more queer club nights.

“If there’s one similarity between Oxford and Cambridge, it’s probably the town and gown divide”

In addition to the livelier pubs, Oxford also seems to beat Cambridge in terms of nicer puking grounds. Comparing Rad Cam (short for the Radcliffe Camera, the iconic library and landmark of Oxford) and King’s Parade, Lorelei judges the former to be certainly “a more amiable and refined puking ground.”

To Cambridge’s defence, Lorelei points to some merits of her new home. For the day, she compliments the better cafes at Sidgwick Site than the ones in Oxford. As for the night, based on her unsolicited sources, drugs accessibility in Cambridge is not as convenient as Oxford—“not that I have done any, I loathe them,” she clarifies.

“Sophie’s status as a student of the university now renders her full access to a city that was once full of closed doors for her”

If there’s one similarity between Oxford and Cambridge, it’s probably the town and gown divide. “Being a townie in one and a student in another you just see a completely different side of the city. All of the most beautiful parts in both are hidden from the city [in the colleges],” says Fifi Gilani, an Undergraduate student in her second year. This is virtually agreed upon by everyone I spoke to, as living within the student bubble renders a very different experience from being a local.

Sophie Collingham, a first-year student who was born in Cambridge, finds Cambridge “a lot more like a bubble” than she expected as well. “It’s easy to forget as a student that a town sits around the university even after experiencing it as a ‘townie’ before,” she says. Even for the same space, the experience can be very different. Many central landmarks in Cambridge—and Oxford, for the matter of fact—are not accessible by locals. Sophie’s status as a student of the university now renders her full access to a city that was once full of closed doors for her.

“[D]espite being two of the top six highest-earning cities in the UK, Oxford and Cambridge are home to a considerable number of homeless people”

Indeed, for someone who splits their time between the Sidge buttery, mediocre clubs and the comfort of their bed, it’s easy to overlook the part of the city that is outside of the university—which is small to begin with. The reality is, despite being two of the top six highest-earning cities in the UK, Oxford and Cambridge are home to a considerable number of homeless people. Figures released in February 2024 show a 70% increase in rough sleeping compared with the previous year in Oxford. This, to a large extent, has to do with the wealth gap in both cities, with Cambridge topping the league as the most unequal city in the UK. As of 2020, the top 6% of earners living there account for 19% of the total income, while the bottom 20% account for just 2% of the total.

Comparing the two cities, Fifi finds that Oxford has a more diverse, eclectic mix of people. Anna Viehhauser, another second-year Undergraduate, agrees as well. She points this to the fact that Oxford has a larger working class population and the city’s historical composition of automobile industry workers, which Cambridge never had. For instance, Blackbird Leys Council Estate in the south-eastern periphery of Oxford now holds around 13,464 people. That said, the estate was never accepted as part of the city proper, as from the outset, it carried a stigma since it was associated with ‘foreign’ workers coming to get rich at the factories and slum clearance in its early days.

“It’s more of a friendly mockery”

Despite some of the shared cultures between the two cities, the deep-rooted feud between Oxford and Cambridge remains unresolved. Beginning from the founders of Cambridge who took refuge from hostile Oxonians to the rowing fans shouting ‘GDBO’ and ‘Shoe the Tabs’ in the annual Boat Race. The Oxford-Cambridge rivalry is as old as time itself, but it seems like the younger generation has not taken this strife to the same level as their predecessors.

For Lorelei, leaving Oxford for Cambridge has induced no sense of betrayal for her. “Bye losers,” she says, is the attitude she holds in coming to the clearly superior city for her Master’s. “It’s more of a friendly mockery,” she adds, “I actually wish [it was] more of a rivalry.”

Ending on a final feud, I asked the Oxonians if they’d rather film a TikTok in front of the Rad Cam or down King’s Parade. Alexander Clovis notes his equal dislike to both locations, “but I think the Rad cam has more going for it,” they explain, “I must admit that I like the mystery of All Souls [College].”

The Rad Cam also defeats Cambridge in this competition for Anna, though it’s simply because it’s less likely for her to bump into people who will recognise her. If anything, I think that both Oxford and Cambridge students can all agree on the rather irksome situation of bumping into everyone you know in the city centre, pyjama-clad and a week into Fresher’s flu —that’s the ultimate Oxbridge experience.