If they'll have abandoned you by lunchtime.

We’ve heard the excuses before: it’s not that your parents don’t love you…it’s just that the car park is very expensive. That, and the fact that they’ve got to be home to put the meat in the oven in time for that delicious roast dinner they’ll be tucking into tonight. Without you.  Fear not – there are still plenty of possibilities for an indulgent brunch.

Bill’s, Green Street

If you want to be ahead of the crowd, start making friends at Bill’s. New to Cambridge this year, finish off your boiled egg and soldiers by stocking up on an assortment of their jars, jams and juices to see you through that oh-so-tough first term.

Patisserie Valerie, Bridge Street

There’s nothing like a bit of extravagance to start the term and unless you’re a real dab hand with the microwave, it’s unlikely you’ll be whipping up poached eggs, toasted brioche and Hollandaise sauce any time soon. Just be sure to add an éclair or two to your parent’s bill for a light afternoon snack…

If they want the Cambridge experience

You did it. You got into Cambridge. You’ve bought the gown. You’ve been on a punt. Now your parents simply must take you to somewhere traditional to eat. “Ooh, d’ya think Stephen Hawking’s ever eaten here?

The Eagle, Benet Street

Some claim it is the oldest pub in England. Legend tells Watson and Crick announced the ‘secret of life’ here. Even the graffiti on the ceiling dates back to World War II. But it’s The Eagle’s incredible Ploughman’s Lunch that will really get this local favourite into the history books.

The Maypole, Portugal Place

If you’re planning for Cambridge to be your springboard to thespian/comedic/journalistic/ artistic success, then you might as well start getting acquainted with the pint-pullers at The Maypole.  Entertain your family by pointing out Mitchell, Webb, Fry et al in the Footlights photos decorating the walls.

If they feel out of their comfort zone

But then there’s the other type of parent. The one for whom ‘this whole Cambridge thing’ is a bit too much. There comes a point – around lunchtime – when you have to take pity on your mum as she bumbles nervously through a conversation with a Fellow. Take her somewhere more familiar.

Jamie's Italian, Wheeler Street

Reportedly serving 600 diners each day in its opening year, there’s not a mother in the country who can’t be charmed by somewhere endorsed by the Dalai Lama of the culinary world.

Loch Fyne, Trumpington Street

Reliably good food at reliably good value. Google hard enough, and you’re sure to find some sort of discount voucher online.

If they insist you still get your 5-a-day

In mere hours, your parents will be waving you goodbye in the full knowledge that barely even know how to boil an egg. How on earth can they expect you to master a salad? There's precious little time

Rainbow Café, King’s Parade

Basement restaurant hidden down an alleyway off King’s Parade, offering purely vegetarian grub that’s so nutritious, your skin will be glowing as bright as the tablecloths. The cheesecakes and brownies ensure that even the most meat-loving sceptics leave satisfied.

Sticky Beaks, Hobson Street

The sort of independent café with so many oak tables, organic salads, nourishing soups, pretentiously-flavoured teas and could’ve-been-made-by-your-Grandma brownies that it’s enough to make you sick…if the food didn’t taste so damn good. Creamiest cappuccino in town and Cambridge’s best kept secret.

If they think you'll be slumming it

They’ve seen the headlines. They’ve examined the student finance figures. They’ve checked it all on their calculators. But it’s only when you reach university that the reality will dawn on them – for the next eight weeks, their little darling is going to be living off of baked beans. Sainsbury’s Basics baked beans.

Midsummer House, Midsummer Commons

2 Michelin stars. It's hard to argue with that.

Cambridge Chop House, King's Parade

Deliciously overpriced traditional favourites and the C-word stamped above the door - a sure-fire parent-pleaser offering a posh twist on homely dishes in a 'Cambridge-y' location.

Browns, Trumpington Street

The reassuring white pillars of Browns offer familiar branding and inarguably decent food. If you forget to book, prepare to eat inconveniently early. But at least it means Dad will be well on his way home by 6pm.

And where not to take your mother

The Mahal, Gardie’s and Curry King.

Fun they may be, but family places they ain’t. Don’t peak too soon.

But when Mummy and Daddy leave, save the pennies and stick to using Varsity's Microwave Masterclass.