Prior to university, I struggled with maths. I felt that those who possessed a precocity were praised exponentially. Those who lagged, like myself, were reprimanded to what felt like an extremity. If I didn’t instantly understand or if I required further help, I was ‘unintelligent’, which probably continued to feed my insecurity … which then prevented further inclination to spend time on it. Perhaps because of deeply embedded, oftentimes unconscious, societal ideology that does impel girls towards the humanitarian subjects, and boys towards the sciences, I’ve always been interested in humanity, emotion, psychology, socio-politics, the earth and expression. I felt as though maths was dissociated from life, not beautiful like the arts … until I met my boyfriend who studies mathematics and has completely transformed my entire, long-held perception of maths.

“A person expressing their love and passion is the most beautiful thing to witness”

The night we met, we were discussing our subjects – I was expressing how beautiful I find Shakespeare’s writing to be: how it captures, so aptly and astonishingly, the human experience. My boyfriend studies pure maths, and two specific facets are: symmetry and algebra. He likened them to Shakespeare, expressing in his magical way, the beauty and elegance of them. I now see how stunning maths is and comprehend the profundity of how absolutely everything on the planet, occupying everything in our lives, is explained and aggregated by maths. In that specific example, how symmetry is everywhere and makes up everything on this earth, man-made and biological. He is also currently studying ‘Mathematical Biology’ which assesses the maths throughout nature, demography, ecology and of course, biology. I am astounded by the maths that can so distinctly assess the natural world in which we live. He has also spoken of A.I. programming that can heal and protect the environment, curated and dependent on the maths at its source, and of a mathematician’s PhD assessing the maths of tadpole’s breathing and its implications within nature. What could possibly be more beautiful, astonishing, and a reflection of the interconnectedness of life than that?

I've further gauged just how intertwined and ubiquitous maths is within subjects that I so greatly adore. Unquestionably, maths pervades subjects with statistics, measurements, etc but can also be so expressive, creative, existential and complementary to many other subjects. Freezing cold breeze amidst twinkling nights of a navy Cambridge night, myself and Jack were rocking back and forth on the Cambridge wheel situated on Parker’s Piece. Though I did know that Lewis Carroll was a mathematician, I wasn’t aware until Jack did maths that so heavily infused one of my all-time favourite works of literature, Alice in Wonderland, how it hosts within its story algebra, arithmetic and geometry, and explores the idea of abstract maths and absurdism within the confines and restrictions of Victorian Britain: a turbulent time for mathematical discovery. For so many years, I was unaware that maths pervades works of literature in a way that is exquisite, poignant, creative and can act as a socio-political commentary, but that maths is deeply intertwined with philosophy. Philosophy inspires intense existential questions and mathematics acts as one of the most important means of tackling these questions, quantifiably and logically.

“He likened maths to Shakespeare, expressing its beauty and elegance”

A person wholeheartedly expressing their love and passion for something is the most beautiful thing to witness, and I am so lucky to see someone light up so delightfully and magnificently at maths. I find it so enchanting and extraordinary to learn about a subject I was so detached from and understand the magnitude of it, its all-encompassing artistry, intricacies, perplexities and how it pervades everything in life. I now learn about it in the most gentle, kind and non-patronising way – I, myself, am baffled that I somewhat understand Riemann surfaces, or topology, or that I am interested in number theory … I wish I could go back in time to try and impart my epiphany of maths, how it is fundamentally grounded in the logic and formation of the world while dichotomously abstract, providing explanation for things that transcend human capacity or functionality. At least I am now enamoured by maths, even at my current superficial understanding, and am so grateful for my boyfriend – for infinite reasons, but in this case for bestowing on me an entirely unforeseen appreciation for maths.