We know that Valentine’s Day can be a difficult time and can raise many different issues. In an effort to help out, we decided not to answer just one question, but two! We hope that, whatever your situation, you’ll be able to take some comfort from our advice.

How do I cope with Valentine’s Day loneliness?

“I hate to be living a cliché, but the approach of Valentine’s Day is a constant reminder that I am single, and it’s making me feel lonely. How can I maintain self-confidence at this time of year?”

Mimaansa:

There’s certainly no shame in your emotions leading up to Valentine’s Day feeling ‘cliché’. This holiday places romantic relationships front and centre which can be hard to escape, so go easy on yourself. Here are a couple of ideas to help you maintain your self-confidence around this time of the year.

1) Show yourself some Valentine love — schedule the 14th full of activities you enjoy doing (whether these are alone or with *single* friends). Eat your favourite foods, and go ahead and buy yourself that slightly overpriced pair of shoes you’ve had your eye on. This Valentine gift will be special because you got it from someone who knows you best ... that’s you!

“This holiday is just like any other day of the month”

2) Try to remember that, after all, this holiday is just like any other day in the month, and it only holds as much importance as you are willing to offer it. Social media can force feelings of loneliness upon us if we aren’t in a relationship around this time of the year, but rest assured that this is untrue. Your perspective is important, perhaps you can take this day to think about the importance of relationships with other people in your life you love and value!

Rosina:

Being self-sufficient and independent is important, but it can be difficult to sustain. It’s inevitable that sometimes you’ll find it harder to be happy in yourself. I want to reassure you that it’s completely OK and that no matter how this time of the year is making you feel, you are not alone.

My suggestion is that you turn to your friends and family. Romantic love is not what defines whether or not you are lonely. Why not make silly Valentine’s plans with friends and surround yourself with love of a different kind? You could do a Valentine equivalent of Secret Santa and each give and receive a little token of affection, or a love note. The important thing is to remind yourself that you are indeed loved. Sometimes we all need a little help with that, so don’t be afraid to ask.

How can I enjoy a long-distance Valentine’s?

“My partner and I are currently in different cities and sadly won’t be together this Valentine’s Day. Do you have any ideas for ways in which we could still make the day romantic?”

“Get creative and enjoy the quirky elements of long-distance”

Mimaansa:

Valentine’s Day is a good reminder for us to make the people we love feel special! It can seem challenging to do this from afar, but here are some ideas for making the day romantic, even from different cities!

1) Send them a care package of their favourite things in advance of the day! You could throw in their favourite snacks and sweets, a book they’d like to read, their favourite flowers or perhaps a bottle of wine they enjoy.

2) Make time for an online dinner date. Each light a candle and prop your phones up against a glass on the other side of the table so you can virtually be and eat together. You could make this more fun by surprise ordering each other food, or food from the same restaurant.

3) To end the night, put on a movie you both enjoy or start a new TV series you can watch together on Netflix or Amazon Watch Party. Even though you’re physically apart on Valentine’s Day, it doesn’t mean you can’t be together emotionally; I’m sure you’ll still make the day romantic.

Rosina:

It’s a big shame that you can’t be with your partner on Valentine’s Day, but you could look at it as an excuse for a super romantic celebration next time you see each other. While that gives you something to look forward to, it doesn’t fix the day itself. Why not go super traditional and focus on your Valentine’s cards? There is something remarkable about holding in your hand a piece of paper full of someone else’s thoughts and feelings, knowing that they took the time to write them down especially for you. Pour your heart out and tell them you miss them.

You could also investigate postable date ideas. Look for cocktails or a meal, or anything else that you’d like to share while you’re apart. Get creative and enjoy the quirky elements of long-distance until you can see each other again, which I hope will be very soon.

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