The humble bat hasn’t received the best PR in recent years. Being blamed for a global pandemic probably isn’t the best thing that could happen to a species and its popularity with the masses. The Wildlife Trust, however, is keen to dispel the negative stereotypes and teach the people of Cambridge about the more delightful side of the world’s only flying mammal. They kindly invited yours truly, Varsity Lifestyle editors, on their ‘Bat Punting Safari’, which pretty much does what it says on the tin. Excited to come up with some bat-related puns, and figuring this is likely the closest we will ever come to an influencer brand trip, we jumped at the chance.

“Nothing was going to stop Lifestyle’s chance to commune with the bats”

We arrive on a simply glorious evening at Mill Pond. Having forgotten what “outside” looks like from long, sad stints in the University Library, the mood is pretty jubilant, assisted further by some gin and tonic from the nearby pub. Georgie “city girl” Atkinson has claimed she has never seen a bat before in her life, so the punt tour promises to be a deeply enriching experience for our poor editor. Things get off to a shaky start when one of us realises that the group will be punted by their former Hinge date, but nothing was going to stop Lifestyle’s chance to commune with the bats.

The sun starts to set and we glide up the Cam towards Grantchester. The tour is led by Iain (otherwise known as “Batman”), who has an encyclopaedic knowledge of not only bats but birds and all manner of wildlife that is lurking along Cambridge’s river. Surrounded by a group of naturalists (not to be confused with naturists, who were out in force swimming by Grantchester), we start to feel like proper chumps, although Eden does correctly guess the age of the oldest discovered bat fossil (50 million years) and is unbearably smug for the rest of the tour.

However, we did naturally show ourselves, Varsity, and the University admissions team immediately up when we were unable to define the difference between the Old and the New World in reference to where bats hail from. (The former referencing Europe, Asia and Africa, and the latter the Americas if you were still curious). But happily, dusk settled over the Cam and the bat monitors started crackling into life, providing a welcomed distraction to our faux pas.

Our punter and ex-Hinge date guided us effortlessly out towards Grantchester and managed to pull off a three-point punt turn which would put Francis Drake to shame. Voyaging back up the Cam towards the gleaming spires and glistening cranes in the distance, bats began whizzing over the punt; looking for insects and Varsity Editors to feast upon. Iain began to shine his torch across the Cam, eerily similar to Hagrid crossing the Great Lake in Harry Potter, in order to capture a Daubenton bat—which lurks just above the water line to capture its prey.

Whilst the thought of attempting to see a bat capture a moth within its wings and rip its head off isn’t immediately romantic unless you are Edgar Allen Poe, there was a beauty and serenity to being regaled with an abundance of facts about the bat species of the UK whilst peacefully gliding up the Cam. We do also have to give credit to bats for some of our post-exam celebratory tequila shots; they pollinate the agave from which tequila happily derives. Who knew they were such versatile mammals?

The splendour of the evening was somewhat marred by Georgie bumping into an ex munching on a burger from the Van of Life. Nonetheless, if you are looking for a post-exam bucolic activity, going on a bat punt is, by far, at the top of the list.