Charli XCX’s new album has triggered a neon green tsunami, and it’s time to embrace it. Brat summer is about accepting your flaws and idiosyncrasies, and having FUN –the perfect antidote to Easter term. Work hard, but play harder. Be unapologetically loud, and take up space. Also, green. Lots and lots of green. Be brat this summer – don’t fall flat.

BRAT

• Putting yourself first. Obviously, reader, take this with a grain of salt. I am not advising you to forget about everyone else and become super selfish. However, it is time to stop worrying about the opinions of every person you know and do things that make you happy for yourself – wave bye-bye to people-pleasing this summer.
• Smoke roll ups, not straights. Again, again – you don’t need to smoke to be brat. However, if you do, it’s time to learn to roll and save some money. The only exception is for Vogues you bought in bulk on the Eurotunnel. And NO vapes – unless it’s an old school Juul (sustainable!). Vapes are so out and so not Julia. We’ve outgrown them. Please. Put the blue razz sour raspberry Lost Mary down.
• Buy ear plugs for the club – brat green only. Brat is all about going out and dancing, but you can’t do that if you damage your ears so badly you can’t hear the lyrics. Coming out of the club and feeling underwater and having to shout “WHAT?!” at your friends to hear is not very brat.

“Vapes are so out and so not Julia”

• Pre with squadka. No more buying cocktails when you’re out. Probably not something many of my fellow students find themselves doing, but the time of buying drinks at clubs (even the MASH 4 for 10 jägerbombs – I have personal history there) is OVER. Creating foul concoctions before leaving is in like never before, and if you can persuade men to buy them for you when you’re out, then even better.
• Irish goodbye/French exit. Every person and their mum at the club doesn’t need a personalised goodbye monologue when you leave. This is the summer of sudden departures triggering a devastating drop in the coolness of the remaining group. Don’t make a fuss when you leave – let your loss speak volumes.
• Reconnect with nature. This one can be interpreted loosely – if your reconnection is the aforementioned walking home when the birds are singing, then so be it. But any time outdoors is pretty brat – what colour is grass, after all?
• Appreciate the mundane. Look for beauty in everything – be that your nails accidentally matching your drink, clouds somehow in the shape of the brat album cover (You never know!! It could happen.) or simply appreciating the beauty of your friends’ smiles.

“Separate your own feelings from your actions towards others, and squash your beef”

• Work it out on the remix. Charli’s release of ‘The girl, so confusing version with lorde’ remix squashed a years-old rumoured feud between two successful female artists with no real dislike for each other. Follow the trend and try to separate your own feelings from your actions towards others, and squash your beef! Brat summer is a girl’s girl summer (in the loosest sense of the word girl).

FLAT

• Driving. It’s time to embrace public transport! It’s good for the environment, it gets your steps in and it lets you people watch. This summer TfL is in, driving your clunky 2011 Polo is out. Stalling in front of your ex and his mum on the high street is a thing of the past.
• Ditching girls’ night to go home to your ex. On the subject of the club, brat summer is all about staying up til the sun comes up, dancing surrounded by your friends – not responding to the ‘come over xx’ text at 1am and paying for your own Uber there.
• Clean girl makeup. Glitter, glitter, glitter, and so much eyeliner. It’s been coming for a while. Think Venetia from Saltburn. Brat summer is as chaotic as you can manage, and the messier the better.

“The more buckles and straps, the brattier”

• Stilettos. Kitten heels get a tentative yes, but stilettos are a definite FLAT. Again, we’re prioritising comfort. Think boots and platform converse. The more buckles and straps, the brattier.
• Organising your makeup and jewellery. While not as extreme as sink makeup girl, this summer everything belongs in a tangled pile in front of your mirror so you can select, like a lucky dip, whatever product or item you feel you want in the exact moment.
• Sunburnt scalps. As someone with tragically strong Celtic heritage, I am an unfortunate victim of scalp sunburn. However, this summer no more – I am becoming a hat person, and so are you, in the name of brat summer. It also doubles up in letting you push hair wash day back a little bit longer.
• SoundCloud DJs. I hear you, I hear you – this sounds contradictory. “Georgia, brat summer is all about dancing! Don’t we need more DJs?” – dear reader, we really do not. It’s time for female dominance in that field. What happened to men building houses? Why have we neglected classical music? We need plumbers, and electricians. And there are many, many DJs. It’s time to branch out into a different hobby – being employed?

So as much as BRAT summer is about material things, it’s also a state of mind. It’s a state of being, as well as a really really good album. Good luck with living your best brat summer.