I got into a relationship during Easter term and now I’m having major Hot Girl Summer FOMO. Should I break it off to pursue a summer fling?

Instead of just telling you to get over your commitment issues, I’d like to reassure you that you most definitely can have the best of both worlds by remaining happily taken while still making the most of Hot Girl Summer. Don’t worry, I’m not encouraging infidelity, I’m just providing you with a gentle reminder that getting into a relationship doesn’t always equal becoming boring.

“Being a Hot Girl is a state of mind!”

After all, being a Hot Girl is a state of mind! Nobody is stopping you from seeking the same thrills with your partner as you would with a summer fling: jet skiing, skinny-dipping at sunrise and sex on the beach (just be careful of sand) are not just fun to do with strangers. Plus, being in a relationship means that you can still get your kicks while feeling secure in the knowledge that your feelings are requited, and that you will always wake up next to someone who can cure your hangxiety the morning after. Ending things seems like a very high risk for what would be very little reward.

Let me spell out a (highly likely) worst-case scenario for you: you end the relationship, you mourn for a short while, but you very quickly take on a new lease of life, feeling ready to conquer the world of hot European singles which is waiting just a two hour Ryanair flight away. Fast forward to day five of the trip and you have yet to be whisked off your feet and into the sunset by a mysterious stranger. The pinnacle of your summer of love so far has been one very drunken and disappointing snog in a sweaty Ibiza nightclub, which was unfortunately soundtracked by Pitbull’s ‘Hotel Room Service’. You consider sending a grovelling text to your ex but decide that you are better than that (you’re not). You spend the rest of the summer feeling sorry for yourself and wondering whether you missed your chance with that one hot bartender who winked at you on day two, or whether they just had something stuck in their eye. On day one of Michaelmas you arrive back at college to be met with your ex and their new partner, who is both irritatingly friendly and incredibly good looking. You curse yourself for not taking the wise advice of Varsity’s Agony Aunt.

I studied really hard all year but only came out with a 2:1. How do I deal with the disappointment?

You should be disappointed. There’s nothing on this earth that’s worse than not getting a first class degree. I’m ashamed on your behalf…

“Nobody is going to judge you for your exam results, but they will judge you for making them your entire personality”

Just kidding. Ah, yes. The classic dilemma of the Cambridge student who feels like their achievements are never good enough. You may expect me to deliver the usual ‘don’t let your grades define you’ speech, but that seems unfair to me – someone who topped tripos would never be told that their grades didn’t matter. Nobody is going to judge you for your exam results, but they definitely will judge you for making them your entire personality. Just like how someone bragging about their top grades is infuriating, you don’t need to make your disappointment everyone else’s problem. Don’t be the reason that your friend, who was really pleased with their 2:1, starts to doubt whether they should actually be proud of themselves.

So, what advice would I give you? Work even harder next year? Definitely not. Work less hard? Maybe. Honestly, every second of summer that you spend thinking about your grades will take years off the end of your life. This is time that should be spent thinking about sipping a piña colada on the beach, not about how many shifts you should be putting in at the library next term in order to improve your grades. Give it a few weeks of being away from uni and you’ll be wondering what all the stress was about. Academic pressure? I hardly know her! Find peace in the fact that whoever is doing better than you academically probably isn’t preserving the same levels of sanity as you are. There’s nothing wrong with not being the best; sometimes being average is a gift!

I want to show up in Michaelmas looking like a new person. What are your best tips for a summer glow-up?

Although at heart we all dream of one day becoming super cool and stylish Sidge girlies, the only way you’ll be turning heads when you walk into the lecture theatre in Michaelmas is by going against the grain. Start a trend! Now is the time to make the most of your tweenage self’s wardrobe which you left behind when you moved to uni – that’s what I call truly sustainable fashion. Be the reason that your peers start ditching their denim skirts and Doc Martens in exchange for galaxy print leggings and black plastic stretch chokers. Or, if you’d rather something more permanent, why not get a new piercing to really cement your new, edgy summer style? You might not be able to swim in a pool all summer, and you’ll probably end up on your parents’ bad side, but there’s really nothing quite like the temporary thrill of sticking a bit of metal in your body.

But, honestly, the perfect ingredient for both a physical and a spiritual glow-up has already been handed to you: an entire summer to spend away from Cambridge. Be sure to catch some rays to make up for the vitamin D deficiency you’ve gained from all those hours spent in the library. Watch those stress lines melt away as weekly deadlines are replaced by catch-ups with old friends, you actually start work on that one creative project you’ve been promising you’ll finish all year (do you even still remember how to crochet?), and your sleep schedule finally returns back to normal.