September’s here, and with it comes the dropping of temperatures and the pumpkinification of TKMaxx. Now’s the time to reminisce and reflect on that oh-so-distant summer of yours, and discover whether it was heat-wave hot or drizzly cold.

Boiling hot

• Having a summer job or an internship. No matter how you keep yourself busy, it’s undeniably character-building. Whether it’s stories for the pub or experience for the CV, being educated and employed? That’s hot. You’re earning money, experience and potentially a grad job. Cheers to that.

• Summer flings. ​​Can you name anyone who watched Grease and didn’t want to have a moment with young John Travolta on a sunny beach somewhere? Thought not. If it doesn’t hurt anyone, why not treat yourself to hot summer nights, in mid-July? You never know where it might lead…

• Going to Edinburgh Fringe. If you’re an ADC dweller, then you already know the importance of the pilgrimage to the Edinburgh Fringe, whether it’s your own show or you just want to watch. Either way, it’s hot. You might discover the new ‘SIX! the Musical’ and then get to brag about how you saw it before it was mainstream.

“Keep expanding that vocabulary; it’s hot being educated”

• Lazin’. Learn to embrace the art of lazin’, read a book, sit in a sauna, lounge in a lido. In a world dominated by corporate internships, my recommendation is to laze on LinkedIn. There is no better way to demonstrate to future employers that your lack of greasy pole climbing does not limit your potential to spread your wings and laze.

Eh, whatever

• Being a LinkedIn fiend. I respect the hustle, I really do. I wish I had the confidence to post something that starts with ‘dear network, I’m delighted to share xyz’. But, we need to rein it in. Why did I see someone post about their wedding day and link it to acquisitions or contract signing? If you don’t want to be that person in ten years, then stop posting so much now.

• Saying ‘demure’ and ‘mindful’. I love a trend as much as the rest of the world, especially if people are expanding their vocabulary. But like Cheryl Cole poetically said, “too much of anything can make you sick, even the good can be a curse”. But let’s be mindful and not say the same words over and over. Keep expanding that vocabulary; it’s hot being educated.

• Sharing the varsity ski trip post. Listen, I get it, I would also like to go skiing for free after spending my entire Cambridge bursary for Michaelmas on going last year. But there are only so many times a girl can see the same Instagram story before she goes insane and contemplates a complete detox from the internet, before remembering how else will she watch edits of Olympians?

“Just don’t shark, it’s that simple”

What’s cooler than cool? Ice cold!

• Thameslink. Another horribly uncomfortable train experience. It’s fine if you’re taking it three stops from the north London liberal paradise of Kentish Town to central London, however, it has clearly not been designed for the two-hour long trips I continue to be forced to make. Unlike that sweaty hellhole, on this list, it’s freezing cold.

• London. Reject the London meetup, nice and seemingly convenient at first, it quickly becomes apparent that in travelling times at least London meet-ups mean some animals are more equal than others. Whilst your London-based friends can just pop two tube stations home, you will find yourself directing a rail replacement bus driver to where the next train station is at 1am.

• Pre-emptive sharking. I don’t care if you’ll be younger than some of the incoming freshers, why are you on the prowl so early? At least wait until freshers week Rumboogie (just don’t shark, it’s that simple). If you’re going into third year, or beyond, I beg you don’t even contemplate it.

• All of your home friends going back to university in September. It’s bad enough that we don’t start term until October and can’t see your Cambridge friends. It’s even worse when every one of your home friends disappears early too, leaving you all alone because Trainline charges you an arm and a leg to go and visit.

• Wearing your college puffer in the wild. Just a bit embarrassing really (unless you live in Durham like me, in which case it’s fair game).