I think I am finally entering adulthood. This summer has not felt like summer, and I’m not just talking about the weather. Somehow it has been over two months since I left uni and what have I done? Nothing. I came home excited to see my friends, lounge in the sun, and drink, just to find myself in a perpetual cycle of rot in bed, go to work, rinse, repeat. Those are the only two options. When I am free, everyone is at work. When they’re free, I’m at work. And for what? We’re all still broke! Alright, I exaggerate. I’ve had fun. Lots of it. But I can’t deny this has been a rather stressful summer. Instead of rambling on, I will give you a second to open Spotify (or Apple Music I guess) and play ‘Money Money Money’ by ABBA. It will express how I am feeling better than I ever could. Have you put it on? Good. This article needs a soundtrack. Now. Let’s get to the point: BeReal.

“There are only so many pictures I can take of my bed or staff room”

For all my grievances about this summer, it is no wonder that my BeReal has been very much inactive. There are only so many pictures I can take of my bed or staff room before I want to rip my hair out. It’s quite sad actually because I am a BeReal veteran. After being introduced to the app in sixth form, I hardly missed a day. I loved capturing my day-to-day life and forcing everyone around me to comply. I even made my mum get BeReal so I could see what she was up to while I was at uni. I kept up the consistency right through my first and second years but, this summer, the streak has been broken.

I’m not sure if it’s a personality thing, or if it is some sort of psychological mind game, but now that my streak is gone I have completely lost any interest in the app. It’s the same with Snapchat. It takes a lot of courage to admit this but I have paid to restore my Snap streaks multiple times … maybe I have a problem. I think I crave the feeling of accomplishment. Unfortunately with BeReal, they are yet to add a payment feature, so the pride I once had has been replaced with a crippling sense of failure. Opening the app and seeing the empty slots hurt my eyes.

“Looking through old BeReals is a great pastime for an egotistical doom-scroller like me”

It’s like I’ve been running a marathon and, at the very last stretch, I take a wrong turn and end up in the crowd. As I watch the rest of the runners sprint past me and cross the line, I lose all motivation and drive knowing I will be last. Most athletes would decide to finish the race anyway, proving their strength and dignity. As all my friends and family will tell you, I am not an athlete. Personally, I think a sneaky retreat into the onlookers would be the best option and that is exactly what I have done with BeReal. I was once a committed BeRealer, now I merely dabble in it.

For all its glitches, bad updates and my failure as a user, BeReal is a brilliant app. It’s kind of genius, to be honest. It’s got everything a social media app should have: daily posts, a collective experience, fun camera features and (originally…) no ads or celebrities! The mad rush when someone announces BeReal has gone off is both a heartwarming experience with friends and a lovely shot of adrenaline. Looking through old BeReals is a great pastime for an egotistical doom-scroller like me. It sometimes acts as an argument-winner too. There has been many a time I have been able to prove somebody’s whereabouts or drunken actions via BeReal.

I am truly grateful for all the memories I have saved from using BeReal. From A-Levels to freshers to now entering my third year of university, it is so heartwarming to look at my friendships, confidence and academic prowess (or maybe academic suffering) develop and progress. It’s a real shame I’ve fallen out of love with the app. Maybe it’s more of a me problem than an app problem – perhaps my burnout is so extreme that it’s killed BeReal for me. I might just be waiting for something interesting to share. I’m going on holiday in a couple of days so give me a week and I’ll get back to you on whether my BeReal account is resurrected. The beauty of Italy might just be the key to bringing me out of my slump. Or not.