I’m ashamed to admit it, but I am a former “pick-me” girl. Although I was a child, it’s never too early, or late, to take accountability for our actions. I used to take pride in not being like other girls, and the most defining moment of this phase was in year three, when I did the unthinkable: I rejected One Direction. I insisted I wasn’t like the other girls in my class, in that I didn’t like boybands and was therefore superior, noticeable even at the grand old age of eight. How embarrassing! I used to play football (badly), rather than make up dances to the latest Little Mix song, because I wanted to stand out. Somehow, an eight-year-old clicked onto the fact that we “needed” male validation and patriarchal approval. Thank fuck I changed.

“I didn’t like boybands and was therefore superior, noticeable even at the grand old age of eight”

There’s no pinpointing when exactly this occurred. Perhaps more embarrassingly, there was a slight trace of “pick-me” in sixth form, when I lacked the strong girl group everyone else seemed to be a part of. Groups that dated back to early primary or formed through the familial dynasties of Jesmond seemed impenetrable to the bursary kid, so I settled on the conclusion that maybe female friendships just weren’t for me. How wrong I was!

Girls’ schools aren’t the right environment for everyone, even if their students tend to excel academically in comparison to mixed education. But it still didn’t put me off from applying to Medwards, which really taught me the magic of female friendships. Through the friendships with the women around me, I realised I was exactly like other girls. Though the bare-brick walls of Medwards dominate the living space, this greyscale does not reflect the vibrant atmosphere of communal kitchens and bedrooms with doors that are seemingly never locked. It doesn’t matter what you need or want, living with women has shown me how selfless and kind friendships can be. Tampons, tops, condoms and cooking utensils are circulated around in almost a barter-economy fashion; whatever you need, someone will have it and offer it without hesitation.

The most love I’ve felt has never come from a guy or even my family: it’s always been from my girls. The love you feel from your friends after a break-up far exceeds the love you ever felt in the relationship; I’ve never felt that my friends were my friends because of how small the number of my jeans was, or because I skipped breakfast. In some ways, my friendships are more healing than therapy. Have I felt judged by my friends over poor life choices? Absolutely, but it’s far more meaningful to be held accountable for your messy actions than for your friends to let harmful behaviour slide. Even if I’m self-flagellating over (often drunken) mistakes, they’re the first to comfort me, see sense, and even find the funny side of matters.

“Men are as good at making women finish as they are at making them laugh”

I have never understood the stereotype that women aren’t funny. Men are as good at making women finish as they are at making them laugh. Giggles, hysterical tears, and witch cackles are all common forms of laughter, sounds that echo through the shared kitchen at all hours of the day. It is the ability to discuss everything and anything. It doesn’t matter if we’ve discussed the same situation 50 times or if we’re disclosing new information, there’s always something to say. Only with the girls can you discuss Hinge dates, the social economic and political state of the world, and sex probably all in the same sentence. But comfortable silence is always a good marker of friendship; it’s rarely awkward if you’re good enough friends.

For the past two years, I’ve been far more excited about Galentine’s traditions than Valentine’s Day. This year is no exception. The love and adoration I have for my Medwards girls is something I’ll hold close for years to come. With graduation suddenly seeming a lot closer than it’s ever felt before, the best thing to come from Cambridge hasn’t been the degree (sorry dear History Faculty), or the extracurriculars that take up space on my CV, it has really been the friends I’ve made along the way. I know how my friends take their coffee, their comfort meals, the first sign of them having a bad day, and what their go-to at the pub is. Though I am blessed in all the friendships I have, it’s the Medwards girls of whom I am particularly fond. On that note, maybe I’ll get the first round tonight.

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