Co-oped up

In a bid to prevent shoplifting, a Cambridge Co-op branch has locked low-cost products in security boxes. The Milton Road store has warned shoppers that certain items – from chocolate and chicken to baby formula and dishwasher tablets – can only be removed from their cases upon purchase at checkout. The cases are protected by GPS technology, allowing officials to track down any thieves who make off with the goods. The drastic measures follow reports of increased shoplifting across the country in recent years, during the national cost of living crisis.

Just not cricket

A proposed accommodation block by Hughes Hall has faced backlash, owing to concerns that the expansion will threaten Fenner’s, the home ground of Cambridge University Cricket Club. The plans, outlining facilities for approximately 100 students, would entail locating a three-storey building close to the edge of the field. The ground hosted its first test match in 1848, and continues to stage matches between international teams. Sports fans fear the proposals could mean the “end of cricket” at the storied ground, with the chair of the Protect Fenner’s Action Group condemning the plans as “depressing”. Hughes Hall claims “there will be no impact on sport at Fenner’s”.

Eek!

Harmful levels of E. coli have recently been found in the River Cam. Typically found in the gut of warm blooded animals, the bacteria can cause violent illness in humans. The news comes at an unfortunate time, following the government designation of Sheep’s Green in Cambridge as an approved bathing site just a few weeks ago. With Boat Race crews having been advised not to throw their coxes into the Thames earlier this year owing to the presence of E. coli in the water, the bacteria is back with a vengeance.

Jedward’s last supper

Last week, Homerton May Ball witnessed a save worthy of the gods. Following an eleventh-hour cancellation by headliner The Last Dinner Party, the student committee pulled an almighty rabbit out of the almightiest of hats, rustling up pop duo Jedward within hours to perform as the ball’s main act. The identical twins launched their career on X Factor 15 years ago, and have delighted audiences with their singing and television appearances ever since. Students took to Camfess, Crushbridge, and Instagram to laud the efforts of the “phenomenal” committee. If anyone still doubts whether the Lord truly ate at the Last Supper, this settles the debate.