Round the bend

Cambridge has become the official home city of Britain's smallest roundabout - measuring just 3 feet in diameter. Found on the outskirts of the city, the tiny terror is marked with edging stones, so motorists will feel a little something as they completely ignore and drive over this massive white elephant.

Swan song

Local teenagers have trained their dog to kill swans on the River Cam, according to eyewitnesses. On Thursday, a swan was savaged by a Lurcher thought to belong to a group of teenagers, who were seen encouraging the dog to tear the swan apart. Police are currently investigating after onlookers dialled 999, but are yet to identify the offenders.

Trolleyed?

Just how wasted was one cyclist in Cambridge, who, on Wednesday, was seen cycling through the city centre with a shopping trolley strapped to his back? Kevin Clinton of The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents called this "daft". 

Cobblestones aren't everything

Cambridge has ranked 59th in a national survey of the happiest places to live, despite its beautiful historic streets and green spaces. Conducted by the property website Rightmove, the survey saw Inverness, Huddersfield, Preston, Swindon and Stockport all place ahead of Cambridge. Sadly, Cambridge was also beaten by Oxford, which ranked 44th.

UKIP bite back

After a poor showing in the local elections which allowed Labour to seize control of the city's council, UKIP have topped the poll in the European elections, winning 34.5 per cent of the vote and taking 3 of the East of England's 7 European Parliamentary seats. Labour took one seat, whilst the Conservatives took the remaining 3. The Lib Dems are licking their wounds having lost all but one seat nationally.

Skinny Wormholes 

Cambridge astrophysicist Luke Butcher has put forward a new theory which suggests that certain types of wormholes, shortcuts through space and time, may be able to sustain themselves for long enough for us to send messages through them. Butcher argues that if the wormholes are 'skinny' enough, they may be able to generate enough Casimir energy to sustain themselves. We are, however, a long way off using wormholes for teleportation or time-travel, meaning that alternative means for avoiding exams must be sought in the meantime.

Instafruit

Cambridge-based technology firm Dovetailed Ltd claim to be able to produce edible apples and pears in seconds using micro-gastronomy techniques and 3D printing. Through a process called spherification, tiny balls resembling caviar will be combined with liquid droplets which provide the fruit's taste, creating infinitely customisable fruit. It is thought that the process could revolutionise experimental gastronomy. 

New research confirms what we already knew

The pen appears to be mightier than the keyboard, as joint research between Princeton and the University of California has confirmed what every student already knew - writing notes by hand will help you memorise it better than typing notes. It would appear that your DoS's advice is based in science, rather than their resentment that their BA was completed before the founding of Apple.