On a cold, dark Saturday night, like clockwork, conservatives crawl out of their colleges and come out to play at Port & Policy, an event held by none other than Cambridge University Conservative Association (CUCA).

“It would be remiss of me to suggest that every Port & Policy is like this”

For those blissfully unaware of what Port & Policy actually is, it’s a social event that typically welcomes conservatives, celibates, and other c-words to debate a number of motions over the plentiful consumption of port. Usually, one can expect a sea of bald spots and receding hairlines, no personalities outside of politics, and drab attire – though perhaps not all the time, as the dress code is occasionally, and perhaps unsurprisingly, black-tie.

And though attendees are promised witty debate, they rather unfortunately appeared to be in receipt of very little at a recent installation of Port & Policy, after it was revealed that a number of speeches were incapable of progressing beyond sexism and homophobia. Women were considered “sinful,” and the legalisation of gay marriage was seemingly a matter of “regret.”

Even more unfortunate, however, is the case that this isn’t all that surprising.

“However... these are more than just one-off occurrences”

One night, where I myself was at Port & Policy, I decided to challenge a speech that had been made. Admittedly, I can't quite remember the contents of the speech, but what I do remember is him repeatedly calling me a “bitch” afterwards, which was truthfully so pitiful I could only find it amusing. Not at all amusing, however, was the moment on another night where a girl left the room, presumably to go to the toilet, only for someone to immediately comment rather loudly on her “small breasts,” and, of course, it would be the case that the only people to retaliate were the two women in the room. And, on another night, that same person claimed he wanted to “buy [me] a drink and squeeze [my] bum.” Thankfully, he only managed one of those things.

Now, it would be remiss of me to suggest that every Port & Policy is like this. There was once a time where I’d often find myself in Little St. Mary’s, intrigued by the political societies of Cambridge, and over the course of many evenings, I became witness to numerous speeches and points of information that have challenged my own beliefs and preconceptions, which is precisely what the essence of Port & Policy ought to be – with the addition of a few drinks.

However, there’s no changing the fact that speeches and other comments are, clearly, more than capable of being some iteration of ‘-ic’ or ‘-ist’ – and that these are more than just one-off occurrences. Better yet though, is that none of these things appear to warrant any real consequence, but, apparently, me laugh-reacting every single one of their Facebook posts was nearly enough to get me banned from their page.

Amidst the bigotry, however, one can find some degree of amusement in all of this: that a speaker implied their celibacy would be a matter of choice, and not, in fact, their complete and utter inability to interact with a woman – or man.