From Wednesday 24th to Saturday 27th June, 97 crews (involving at least 870 individuals) competed in Virtual May Bumps, with some people taking part from as far away as America, Hong Kong, South Africa and Australia.

Every day, the nine crew members in every boat each ran 800m, and submitted their times to the organisers. Using an impressive Bumps algorithm, simulations were then produced each day which showed how the races progressed.

Having turned the runner's individual times into a calculated ‘boat speed’, it was possible to work out how quickly crews bumped, and where on the actual Bumps course these moments would have taken place. (For a full explanation of how this worked, see here.)

The final results were announced on the official Cam FM Results Show, and also featured during Sunday’s May Week Mega Event. It is now time, then, for Varsity to bring you a selection of highlights and exciting moments from last week’s racing and connected competitions to celebrate the event, its competitors, and the hard work of all the organisers.

"...a very exciting, successful, and uplifting few days which recreated a favourite event in the Cambridge calendar..."

Although not a rower (or temporary runner) myself, working on the commentaries for the races and presenting the results shows was a great chance to ‘watch’ this competition and enjoy some Bumps drama! The work behind the simulations (an unfamiliar but exciting basis for commentary!) and the number of people enjoying being involved was clear from the start.

The actual races definitely lived up to the occasion, and provided enough action, stories, chases and classic carnage to make a new listener potentially think they were listening to the real thing.

Men’s division: Downing snatch headship from Caius on final day

In the men’s division (35 boats), Caius M1 rowed over very strongly on the first few days, and looked unbeatable heading into the final day. However Downing M1, who had started the competition in fourth and bumped Lady Margaret M1 and Magdalene M1 on day one and two respectively, had other ideas.

After a very strong start Downing were soon gaining on Caius, bumping them triumphantly at Plough Reach (after rowing 720.6m) to take headship of the river from the people who had also started Lent Bumps in first position.

Churchill M3 took home blades, and Homerton M1 and Addenbrooke’s M1 achieved superblades. Addies’ performance is particularly impressive as this year marked Addenbrooke’s Student Boat Club’s return to May Bumps after an eight-year absence, having been revived by Captain Will Smith of St John’s College.

Girton M1 and Christ’s M2 were bumped each day, as was Lady Margaret M1, in a change of fortune from last term’s headship-winning campaign. Emmanuel M1 will take away superspoons, having fallen six places across the four days.

Mixed division: Pemgibeers triumph ahead of battles behind

Next came the mixed division (27 boats). This was a really exciting set of boats, featuring crews comprising a variety of alumni, beer boats and even Cambridge University Women’s Boat Club athletes and lightweight squad members. It was a great part of the competition, and showcased how loved May Bumps is by current and past students alike.

After bumping up on each of the first two days, the Pemgibeers (Pembroke) finished head of the river, in front of the Black Prince Boat Club Men (an alumni crew from Trinity) and the Humertin Crockot Club (a Selwyn mixed alumni crew).

"...Newnham were in control from the start, rowing over every day...and claiming headship in style"

The second half of this division provided some of the most intense battles of the week, as boats 14 to 25 constantly changed places over the four days.

After Rowvid-19 (Jesus mixed alumni) bumped Darwin 2000 (mixed alumni), and 21 Malcolm Streakers (also Jesus mixed alumni) bumped PembWIN (a Pembroke/Darwin alumni boat), on day one, The Wheely Fast Catz (a mixed crew of current students from St Catharine’s) double overbumped the Jesus Oarful 88s (a mixed alumni crew from 1988).

The 88s then bumped up the next two days, before being double overbumped again, this time at the bottom of the Reach by Martlets Away (Pembroke W1 alumnae) in the dying moments of the race (the crews had rowed for 2037.8m and five boats had already rowed over).

Rowvid-19 and 21 Malcolm Streakers went on to win blades, but meanwhile the day one misfortune of Darwin 2000 and PembWIN continued, eventually resulting in spoons for both crews.

The other recipients of blades in this division were Gonville Boat Club and the Matt Temple Challenge Cup (CUWBC lightweight women), whilst Girton Mixed Alumni, Track and Race (Clare mixed alumni), and Lucy Cav Alumni & Staff will be sharing the disappointment of Darwin 2000 and PembWIN.

Women’s division: Newnham make it look easy at top

This year, it had been decided that May Bumps was to conclude with the W1 race, with future years alternating between finishing with the M1 and W1 race, and so we will also conclude with the women’s division (35 boats) here.

Lent Bumps finished with Downing as head of the river, followed by Jesus. Newnham came in third, bumping only on the last day to avoid a disappointing set of spoons after leading out the division on day one.

This time round, however, Newnham W1 were in control from the start, rowing over every day at the top of the division and claiming headship in style. It was never really in doubt going into the final day, and although Caius W1 got closer to Newnham than anyone had on a previous day, it was not enough to take victory.

Reigning Lent champions Downing W1 finished fifth, behind Jesus W1 in third and Pembroke W1 in fourth.

There were lots of blades won in this division – the victorious crews were: Homerton W1, Emmanuel W2, Murray Edwards W1, Sidney Sussex W1, Corpus Christi W1, Clare Hall W1, and Addenbrooke’s W1, marking a very successful few days for both halves of the hospital’s boat club.

There will of course be no normal Boat Club Dinners this year (although a socially-distanced post-Bumps Spoons trip might become a possibility for some next week), but there is clearly lots to celebrate for many of these crews.

This happiness will not be shared, however, by the members of Newnham W2 and Selwyn W1, who both take home spoons, whilst Pembroke W2 dropped six places, gaining superspoons.

Fines, photos, and fundraising: the winners off the river

In addition to staging races to bring the Cambridge community together in the absence of normal May Bumps, the organisers also carried out a very successful fundraising campaign.

Money from fines and entry fees will be going to the Milton branch of East Anglia’s Children’s Hospices, and the rest of the money raised will support the University’s Covid-19 appeal. The overall total raised so far is £5,879 (excluding gift aid), and there are plans to make even more by selling programmes.

The annual Pegasus Cup competition has also been adapted to fit these circumstances, with the trophy this year going to whichever college with at least two boats competing (one men’s and one women’s boat unless a single-sex college) raised the most from seat donations in proportion to the size of the college’s total student body.

The winner of the Cup was St John’s College, and Pembroke and Clare make up the rest of the podium. You can still donate here.

"...Downing were soon gaining on Caius, bumping them triumphantly at Plough Reach..."

As part of recreating the whole May Bumps experience, there were lots of spoof fines sent in each day.

The best fines from the first three days were judged to be: a fine against a Peterhouse W1 member whose ‘3-seat (typical) doesn’t understand the difference between 0.8 km and 0.8 miles, leading her to run almost double the distance of her team mates’ (Abigail Foster); Tom from Going for ’Broke (Pembroke M1 alumni) was fined for ‘running in red flag conditions (monsoon)’ (Stefan Stanko); and a BPBC Men crew member was fined for running on a downward incline over the 800m, ‘we’re coming for you tomorrow!’ (Maria from Humertin Crockot Club). (Although Abigail was herself later fined for ‘inadvertently fining herself by forgetting to put the name of the person being fined into her submission’.)

All the fines can be read here, and they feature lots of entertaining rivalries between boats, jokes within crews, and parodies of some CUCBC classic lines.

Alongside the fine contest was the photo competition. The honours for Wednesday to Friday went to: Marta Mitrofanovaite (Lucy Cavendish) for her photo of her ‘chilling in her paddling pool in Lithuania after completing her run’; Aurelie, also from Lucy Cavendish, ‘for the photo of her lining up to start her 800m against a tortoise!’; and Maria from The Wheely Fast Catz for seeming ‘to be being chased by one of the King’s cows through her garden!’.

PembWIN’s ‘magnificent photoshop of all of them on a paddle board that is floating through both sea and sky’ won the final day’s prize of a tub of Aromi ice-cream. Special mentions also went to ‘Corpus W1 for an equally funny picture (with bonus points for including the Cam) and The Wheely Fast Catz for their virtual congregation around their boathouse’.

Looking back at the event, Imogen Gander (Head of Social Media) said: ‘We are thrilled with how successful the event was; we went from being scared that we would struggle to get participants, to listening to close to 100 crews be reported on in the first results show - it was a mixture of elation and sheer relief.’

‘We managed to get through the week with no hitches, an amazing feat considering the fact that the majority of the committee have never met in person, and two months ago, Virtual May Bumps didn’t even exist.’

And with that, May Bumps, albeit in an unfamiliar form, draws to a close for another year. Although everyone hopes that we will never need this virtual replacement again, it was certainly a very exciting, successful, and uplifting few days which recreated a favourite event in the Cambridge calendar as far as possible.

Full information on Virtual May Bumps can be found on their website, and programmes are still on sale for charity here. All four results shows are available to listen back to on Cam FM.