I really do not like Donald Trump. I could spend hours talking about how he undermines the very concept of democracy, how his policies would set the USA back into a societal Stone Age, and how his unjustifiably racist and sexist comments have stoked anger towards minorities, resulting in disgusting hate crimes committed against them. But this is Sport, so I am going to talk about golf.

“We all know Donald Trump loves a hole-in-one, as he sidles around his beloved Mar-a-Lago looking like a dropped pumpkin in an Airtex”

We all know Donald Trump loves a hole-in-one, as he sidles around his beloved Mar-a-Lago looking like a dropped pumpkin in an Airtex. To a politically oblivious person, this might seem like an honest pastime to relieve himself of the stress of the job. In reality, golf is where he practices his dirty tricks to use on the national stage. Before I substantiate this claim, I will mention that this article is based on a rather excellent book called Commander in Cheat by Rick Reilly; I’ll be using it along the way for evidence and I would highly recommend it. Right, onto how this sulphurous individual’s toxicity is embodied in his seven-iron.

In the world of golf, a mulligan is a do-over — a free shot after a particularly bad one. It’s usually used sparingly among casual players, but for Trump, mulligans are reportedly a core part of his strategy. Reilly even referred to him as the “Mulligan President”. Trump failed in 2020: can 2024 be considered his Mulligan Election? Due to his infatuation with being superior, he cannot handle losing, and when he does, it’s always somebody else’s fault. I’m no Freud, but there are some ego issues which a qualified professional should look at. It’s not just mulligans either. The former president has been accused of nudging his ball out of tricky spots — dubbed the ‘foot wedge’ — and making liberal use of the ‘gimme’, a practice where short putts are assumed to go in without actually being played. Donald Trump not playing fair? Like when he allegedly attempted to illegally overturn an election result? The patterns are not subtle.

“Donald Trump not playing fair? Like when he allegedly attempted to illegally overturn an election result? The patterns are not subtle”

Donald Trump has claimed an extraordinarily low golf handicap — a number that represents a golfer’s skill level. His self-reported handicap of 2.8 suggests that he’s just a step below professional golfers. For comparison, a handicap of 2.8 would make Trump better than most amateur players and even many who compete in tournaments. But numerous golfers, including PGA pros, have cast doubt on the legitimacy of this number. Gary Player, an iconic professional golfer, once subtly hinted that Trump’s handicap “may be a bit generous.” Others who have witnessed Trump play say that, while he’s a decent golfer, his real ability is nowhere near the skill level implied by his official handicap. It’s almost like when he misrepresented his assets to get more favourable loans and interest rates, which resulted in him being found guilty of fraud earlier this year. This is a man who perpetually lies to make himself seem more impressive. He craves approval and being worshipped; claiming to be better at golf than he actually is is only a symptom of a wider disease.

Former Sports Illustrated writer and avid golfer Michael Bamberger once played with Trump at one of his courses. After the round, Bamberger noticed that Trump’s score didn’t quite match the shots he remembered witnessing. It’s a recurring theme among those who’ve shared the green with him. The question isn’t whether Trump plays well — it’s whether he plays fair. If he’s losing he lashes out at others to make himself feel better. He may be petulant and childish but he is also dangerous. It’s fairly normal to get riled up on the golf course, but Trump’s insecure strops translate horribly onto the stage of his rallies. He demonises minorities and creates a populist ‘us vs them’ mentality to deify himself and villainise others. He simply does not have a shred of empathy, and why should we be surprised, when considering the luxurious, elite lifestyle he had growing up? He frankly does not need to care about others; he only cares about himself, even at the cost of sacrificing others.

Perhaps more than anything, Trump’s golf game mirrors his larger-than-life personality: bold, brash, and always aiming to win — even if it means bending a rule or two. Watch this year’s election coverage to see how his childish antics mirror his juvenile golf game. While his presidential legacy may remain divisive, one thing is clear: on the golf course, Donald Trump may forever be remembered as the king of the mulligan.