Ah, week five. The point in the term where everything can be attributed to fatigue and general gloom. Well, almost everything; unfortunately Tit Hall’s season cannot be condensed into a week five crisis, and continues to roll on. Nonetheless, it seems collegiate football has been struck by a bout of the mid-term blues, with only a smattering of fixtures taking place over the weekend. However, fear not, the College Football Review is here to cheer you up at this sad, unfortunate period of the term. (Again, the morale-boosting probably will only stretch as far as those near the top of their respective tables - for those like Tit Hall, this may just serve to compound the misery.)

In the Premier League, Fitz recorded a comfortable 4-2 win over Selwyn, keeping their hopes of making a champions league spot still intact. Pembroke meanwhile look to be in serious jeopardy after Queens’ obliterated them 5-0 on their own patch, striking a damaging blow to their goal difference to the delight of the Gonville and Caius faithful. Their great escape is still very much on. In Division Two, Girton’s disappointment from missing out on promotion last week did not impact them against Cuppers semi-finalists St Catharine’s, whom they thumped 4-1. The result means they will finish 3rd, for the second season running.

So, with only a few fixtures having been played, this is probably an ideal opportunity to assess how the league tables are looking as we head into the final 3 weeks of the season.

The Premier League title race is still very much alive: Queens’ crushing win takes them to within 3 points of league leaders Jesus with a game in hand, and brings their goal difference level at +15. Churchill are also still in the running, especially with Jesus still to play in what is the league front-runners’ final fixture of the season. However, the Hill College are relying on Queens’ to slip up in one of their final games if they are to stand a chance of pipping them to the post. Both Churchill and Queens’ have taken the league by storm since promotion last season, confounding all pre-season predictions. At the bottom, the once-thought dead and buried relegation battle has been resurrected, courtesy of Pembroke’s dismal form. Defeat to Queens’ means they are now five league games without a win, and with Gonville and Caius crucially still having to play Trinity Hall, they could very easily find themselves in danger. Selwyn too, despite their games in hand, are by no means out of the woods yet either.

Promotion to the top flight was secured last week by runaway leaders Robinson, a foregone conclusion, and also, surprisingly, the mysterious entity known as Long Road. Forcing their opponents to play midweek matches, and resolutely refusing to reply to any College Football Review emails for the last two seasons, they will certainly make for an interesting addition to the Premier League. The two sides have one game remaining, and excitingly, it is against each other in a winner takes all title showdown. Girton have also now secured third spot after beating St Catz, concluding another season of ‘what might have been’, having not only narrowly missed on promotion, but also losing out to struggling Pembroke in Cuppers, whose semi-final opponents the Green Men comfortably dispatched over the weekend. The relegation fight remains anyone’s guess, and still, 4th place Darwin are not mathematically safe. Homerton prop up the table with 3 points from 6 games, but are only 3 points from safety, and 6 points off 5th. Emma, Queens’ IIs, St Catharine’s, King’s and even Trinity will know that, with so many games still to be played, their division two status is still at risk.

And finally, next week of course sees the return of Cuppers, as Pembroke, St Catharine’s, Fitzwilliam and Robinson battle it out for a place in the final at Grange Road on Friday 5th March. Both games are on Sunday afternoon at Robinson and Pembroke pitches, and there will be a full round up in next week’s Review!

 

Premier League:

Pembroke 0-5 Queens’

Queens’: Albert, Sefton, Hope (x2), Knight

Pembroke’s preparations for their mammoth clash against St Catharine’s in their Cuppers Semi-Final didn’t exactly go to plan against title chasing Queens’. The match itself reflected the scoreline, as Queens’ stormed to victory. Despite a cagey opening ten minutes, it wasn’t long before Queens’ took control of the game. Some delightful trickery from Sefton allowed him to set up Albert who put a tidy finish past the Pembroke keeper. A steady stream of goals then followed. Sefton got one, and Hope made it three before halftime. In the second half, Knight got in on the act, and then Hope sealed the rout in the last 20 mins. Captain Ben Farrar had left early but it was described to him by Sefton as "one of the luckiest goals I've ever seen. Kicked it into his own left foot and deflected up and over the keeper from 20 yards out." In all fairness, that must have taken considerable skill. In any case, the win keeps Queens’ in the hunt, and the title is definitely within reach. Pembroke, meanwhile, will need to regroup before they face St Catz on Sunday. Could it be possible that they at the end of the season they will have lost a third straight Cuppers final and find themselves in the Second Division? A terrifying thought for the remnants of their golden generation.

 

Fitzwilliam 4-2 Selwyn

Fitzwilliam: Dunn-Massey, Ewen, Hepp, Tice (p)

Selwyn, slowly but surely, are slipping into trouble. Two points above Gonville and Caius, albeit with a game in hand, with title chasing Queens’ and Churchill as well as champions Downing still to play, they may now find themselves in the fight for premier league survival. Defeat here to Fitz has only hastened those worries. Fitz, whose focus is now purely on achieving their tenth Cuppers triumph (‘La Décima’), still harbour hopes of a top three finish. They got off to the perfect start when centre-half Tom Dunn-Massey scored an absolute worldie of a half-volley from over 30 yards, possibly the greatest goal he has ever scored. But Selywn quickly bit back with two goals before the break, the second of which looked to be a controversial offside call. In the second half however, Fitz came out firing – they drew level within five minutes of the restart through Ross Ewen, before August Hepp put Fitz back in front with a header. The game was finally sealed when former Fitz prodigy Paddy Tice netted a penalty. In the end, it was a solid win for Fitz, ideal preparation before their big game against Robinson next week. Selwyn, meanwhile, will brace themselves for a tense run-in.

 

As things stand:

• Jesus P8, +15, 21pts
• Queens’ P7, +15, 18pts
• Churchill P7, +16, 15pts
• St John’s P8, +6, 13pts
• Fitzwilliam P8, +5, 13pts
• Downing P6, -5, 9pts
• Pembroke P8, -4, 7pts
• Selwyn P6, -7, 6pts
• Caius P7, -5, 4pts
• Trinity Hall P7, -36, 0pts

 

Division Two

Girton 4-1 St Catharine’s

Girton: Male, Monks, Fisher (x2)

Girton will perhaps feel a sense of disappointment at the end of this game. Certainly, confirming a second consecutive third place finish, again missing out on promotion by the narrowest of margins, will hurt deeply. But victory over St Catherine’s will sting that little bit more, knowing that should they have overcome Pembroke in their Cupper’s Quarter Final, a place at Grange Road next Friday may well have been assured. Nevertheless, Pembroke proved to be their stumbling block, and third place is what they will have to settle for. Goals for Male, Monks and Fisher with a brace were enough to see of St Catharine’s, who tumble to within perilous touching distance of the relegation places. It may well be a tricky run-in for the former Premier League outfit, who will need to get results against relegation rivals Emma, King’s and Queens’ IIs if they wish to stay up. They will, however, take heart from Pembroke’s drubbing at Queens’, meaning both sides head into their Cup showdown off the back of disappointing defeats.

 

As things stand:

• Robinson P8, +23, 21pts
• Long Road P8, +19, 21pts
• Girton P8, +15, 16pts
• Darwin P8, -4, 10pts
• Trinity P6, -4, 9pts
• King’s P6, -5, 7pts
• St Catharine’s P6, -5, 6pts
• Queens’ IIs P7, -19, 6pts
• Emma P7, -9, 4pts
• Homerton P6, -11, 3pts

 

Plate Semi-Finals

King’s 1-4 Christ’s

There are also some Plate semi-final results to bring you. King’s missed out on a spot in the Plate final, falling to Christ’s in a dismal defeat, here is King’s Captain Zack Case’s take on the action:

With several key players missing, King's were hindered from the outset. Yet the strength and depth of the 2015-16 squad - bolstered by the likes of veteran centre-back-cum-target-man Ben McNally making a (rare) appearance - meant that the 3rd division Christ's team were the David to our Goliath. But David beat Goliath.

Despite an inspirational pre game team talk which has been compared to Coach Brook's famous pre-game adrenaline pumper before the 1980 USA-Soviet Union ice hockey final, King's put on a fairly insipid performance. Whilst the effort of the men of KCFC cannot be doubted, it was a lack of quality which characterised the performance. Christ's went 2-0 up without King's really having a sniff, before fortune turned and King's took advantage of a goalkeeping error by scoring off a rebound.

At half time, and still very much in the game, King's opted for a change of tactics: 4-4-2, big man little man (though the pacey Jonny Gurney is hardly little), route one. The theory was to take advantage of a rather permeable Christ's defence by attacking them directly. King's did push on in the early stages of the second half, pressing for an equaliser and Christ's were under the cosh. But the third goal - a delightful lob over the keeper from a Christ's winger - sealed things and they soon added a fourth. Despite some heroic goalkeeping from Andrew Lawrence who came on for the injured Will Glevey and last ditch tackles from Jonatan, King's simply didn't have enough fuel in the tank.

Trinity 0-2 Sidney Sussex

Sidney Sussex also progress, knocking out Second Division Trinity in another shock result. It will be an all-Third Division final to decide who will be Plate champions 2015-2016.