Agony Aunt: Managing Exam Isolation
Violet’s Agony Aunt gives us advice on how to keep ahold of friendships during Easter Term

I feel like I’m drifting away from my friends because of exam term. What should I do?
With under three weeks until exams begin (for most of us, anyway) tensions are running high. Between overcrowded libraries and the peculiar epidemic of relationship drama, Cambridge is infested with an overwhelming contagion of stress. Even those lucky enough to have escaped with prelims have found themselves exhausted with their workload this term. With such unavoidably high academic pressure, it is no wonder that other aspects of our lives can often suffer during exams.
For many people, the pressure to stay in and study as much as possible can be problematic; either you are one of the dedicated few who succeeds in doing this, and as a result, spends less and less time with your friends. Or, you are, like myself, somebody who tries and fails to have such a strong resolve, but find yourself at a loose end when there’s nobody to relax with. The culmination of this is often a feeling of disappointment and detachment from your peers.
Having managed to somehow spend every night this past week out of college with an (albeit an ever-dwindling) group of friends, I feel like I’ve somehow managed to find a balance between revision and sociability that could be of some use to you, dear reader. And it starts with a typically patronising reminder…
Don’t make yourself unhappy. From an academic perspective, easter term is obviously incredibly important, but if you’re putting your potential grade above your mental wellbeing – you’re doing it wrong. If you honestly believe that your relationships are suffering as a result of your potentially excessive dedication to revision, you perhaps need to reassess the distribution of your time.
Start with the obvious: don’t spend all day, every day, in your room alone. Not only is this fundamentally unhelpful for maintaining relationships, but it’s unhealthy. Regardless of if you see anyone else, leaving your room and taking in some fresh air and sunlight is beneficial for both your mind and your body. Revising in the company of your friends isn’t something that works for everyone, but I find going to a café with someone and working - with a coffee and cake - for a few hours to be my most productive environment. As long as you both know when to focus and when to get lost on Peepbridge together, this situation can be mutually beneficial: having both somebody to motivate you through your work and the pressure to match their work ethic can do wonders for your turnover.
“From an academic perspective, easter term is obviously incredibly important, but if you’re putting your potential grade above your mental wellbeing – you’re doing it wrong”
If you’re someone who doesn't feel productive around their friends (as many people are), the alternatives are easy: complement working alone in your room/the library with spending time together doing other daily activities. Cooking or exercising with your friends can provide the emotional relief you definitely need from revision. Small things like this, which is a by no means exhaustive list, can help to maintain your friendships through this particularly quiet term.
Planning in advance can help to null the boredom, too. If you’re desperate to go out – be it to Life or the Picturehouse – solidifying a plan a few days in advance and giving your hard-working friends fair notice to build their timetable around it means they are more likely to be free to spend time with you. It might take more time and planning than suggesting in the group chat at 8pm that you all go to the pub, but exam term necessitates a little extra effort.
In summary, the best way to combat the feeling of drifting away from your friends is to actively put yourself back in their lives. Don’t let revision become your life because, and this really isn’t an empty rhetoric, all work and no play is an incredibly flawed strategy. Making yourself miserable won’t produce better work. Equally, neither will pretending responsibilities are a myth and spending everyday procrastinating. Finding a balance is key to enjoying your Easter term. And remembering that small things such as catching up over coffee or going to Sainsbury’s together can help solidify friendships and are also important to reduce the anxiety you are feeling.
Exams are an inescapable source of stress, but May Week is the light at the end of the tunnel. Put in the hours – both for your degree and your friendships – and May Week will be icing on the cake of an enjoyable and memorable term. Don’t let yourself slip into a void of frustration and exhaust yourself before the celebrations have even begun. Grades are important, especially in Cambridge, but not as important as your own well-being and happiness