Cambridge is slowly beginning to pick up the digital pieces after a brief shutdown of major University communications systems this afternoon, including Eduroam Wi-Fi and Hermes email.

The catastrophe, which lasted over an hour, deprived students across Cambridge of crucial access to wholesome memes, and students at hill colleges of any contact with civilisation.

Lacking such distractions as Netflix and ‘rainbow chicken memes’, many students were forced to confront the raw existential torment of life under late capitalism.

While incredibly damaging for productivity, the crisis was celebrated by many as an opportunity to legitimately miss evening essay deadlines. However, Wi-Fi returned at 4.30pm, leaving them without an excuse and one less hour until their deadline.

The experience was traumatic for many. A relatively immature student at Wolfson College told Varsity: “I looked at the Wi-Fi symbol struggling. I looked at the book I have to read by tomorrow. I activated mobile hotspot and went on Facebook.”

One English student, who wished to remain anonymous, complained that they “couldn’t re-watch The Emoji Movie to get the screengrabs I needed for my essay”.

When contacted for comment, the University Information Service’s answerphone message said: “due to a loss of power at approximately 3.20 on Monday 29th January, many systems are now experiencing difficulties, including major systems for telephone and email. We are investigating and attempting to rectify these issues.”

While the full extent of the damage is unknown, there have been rumours that during the isolation period Girton College was divided into fiefdoms ruled over by rival BNOCs.