An age of Disco-very: Violet gives Vinyl a spin
After Kuda’s closure, we went to check out the new Vinyl for ourselves
The last time we hit up Life, a glass bottle landed on my friend Abdullah’s head. Abdullah has no memory of this, but continued to #loveLife.
When news was announced of Kuda’s impending closure, we were unmoved. However, lured by promises of free entry and an appearance from Pat Sharp – 80s DJ, now sans-mullet – we were unable to resist Vinyl’s opening night party. Behold: a play-by-play account of this paradigm shift in Cambridge nightlife.
21:21 We arrive very early because tickets were sold out and we naively feared not being able to get in. Jokes, we arrive to find there is no queue.
21:22 Vinyl has a security upgrade! We empty our pockets and walk through an airport security scanner.
21:24 We estimate an average age of 38, with a crop of aging millennials flocking to Vinyl for a chance to meet venerable D-list celebrity Pat Sharp. The DJ is playing a steady diet of Michael Jackson.
21:46 Stop everything. The bathrooms are incredible. Ladies room features hair straighteners and hairdryers, while men’s features mirrors for Abdullah to lounge in front of and admire himself.
22:15 Two-for-one cocktails! Though for this cheating vegan, the plastic straws are too high an environmental price to pay.
The most obvious change from Kuda is the club’s decor. Gone are two bars confusingly far apart. They've instead been replaced by one very large bar. Gone are the days of the treacherous journey from one bar to the next, through the swarm of Cambridge students searching for genuine connection on the dancefloor.
The club is easier to navigate, with Vinyl having replaced Kuda’s confusing raised floors and railings. The new booths are extremely glittery. The VIP area is well-guarded, and we spot women in Geri Halliwell flag dresses carrying bottles with sparklers throughout the evening…. okay…
We love the big, sunken dance floor! It is multi-coloured! Plenty of groovers of all ages. We imagine very babysitter in Cambridge was booked this evening.
23:08 Abdullah makes it to the centre of this glowing heart, finds that he loves himself even more than he usually does.
23:16 Smoking area (“outdoor terrace”) is unchanged. Edgelords at ease.
00:05 Pat Sharp begins to DJ! He takes selfies with an exclusive few. There are people in gogo boots with disco balls for heads dancing around him!
The verdict is in: we stan. With the hindsight of a year at Cambridge, we think this is more fun a night out than Kuda could’ve ever provided.
