King’s College netball team is not your average netball team, if anything they are your sub-average netball team. Donning Docs and, in the words of one obnoxious Newnham girl, ‘home-made’ bibs, they hardly gave the appearance of a league topping powerhouse. At the beginning of Michaelmas 2011, players were few and hard to come by, but the revolutionary captain Sorcha Bacon scraped the barrel and turned the sub-par ingredients into a broth of netball excellence. Prior to the first match, the average girl was still recovering from the bitter trauma of being steamrollered in year nine netball games. The others had either never played or were only familiar with the more conventional rules of American basketball. In compliance with any Hollywood fairytale, they were born to be champions.

From week to week, the violence increased as rapidly as their victories became more glorious. Screaming matches with arbitrary umpires, rouge balls, bent goal hoops, furious toss-ups, hurled abuse and the occasional fistfight only added to their fervent enthusiasm. Frequently hungover ex-captain Hatty ‘Hellfire’ Carman remarked, “I like watching people cry.” The scores increased to such an extent that anything below a 17-0 win brought only bitter disappointment to the mysteriously competitive team. No one expected a squad from such humble beginnings to emerge as an undefeated, league topping inspiration. And so, King’s College Netball team successfully moved up from the fifth league to the blood bath of the fourth. Trinity Hall seconds, you better watch out!

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