Every year, RAG Blind Date proves to be one of the most popular student charity initiatives, this year raising just over £10,600. A welcome respite from the quotidian stresses of Cambridge student life, Blind Date provides an opportunity to meet someone from a different social circle, with a potential new friendship or romantic interest up for grabs. However, each year the event issues a quite sinister reminder; that despite its charitable aims, students are continuously subjected to ‘ghosting’ from their blind pairing.

Most of us are familiar with the idea of ‘ghosting’ or ‘blanking’, referring to the act of ignoring someone else’s attempts at communication, often by leaving said communication attempts unread. Given how much of our lives are now spent on our phones, we would be remiss to ignore how the motivations and consequences of ghosting have altered the way we communicate with each other. The phenomenon is not uncommon, with a 2016 survey by dating site, Plenty of Fish, reporting that around 80% of millennials aged 18-33 had experienced ghosting.

As Oliver Burkeman put it for The Guardian, “In the old days, instant replies were either obligatory (as in face-to-face conversation) or impossible (as in snail mail). Now, though, we’ve hopelessly confused the two. So when no reply is forthcoming, we’ve no idea what to think”. Burkeman highlights here the irritation of not knowing, and it goes without saying that, for even the most mentally stable individual, this completely avoidable situation can induce anxiety.

“By no means is it a step too far to suggest that ignoring a message from a RAG blind date could directly induce anxiety and damage self-esteem.”

When the issue is transposed onto the conversation surrounding Blind Date, the impact becomes even more significant. Whereas going for a drink with someone is usually attached with a set of preconceptions, Blind Date tends to be universally accepted as a harmless endeavour, with most of the first dates being the last. Set against this context, ghosting one’s pair tends to imply that they looked so awful, even a 30 minute coffee is out of the question - a decision often made based on a Facebook profile.

While the implication is perhaps unavoidable, there may be other reasons for why people feel they have to ghost. It may be that personal anxieties make it difficult to face messaging the pairing, particularly if to say they would rather not go on the date. It can often feel like less damage is being caused by sending nothing as opposed to sending rejection, and the other party can justify the ghosting with ‘perhaps they didn’t see the message request.’ Moreover, there may be complications with a recent relationship, and ghosting can seem to be an easier way of dealing with the situation than direct honesty.

In signing up to the programme, it’s true that there isn’t a responsibility to go on the date. However, there is still a social and moral responsibility to the other person; they are expecting a response, given that both people signed up to the same programme with the same initial expectation of going on the date. Whilst no individual should feel pressured to go on a date that they are feeling uncomfortable or anxious about, it is equally sinister to leave the pairing in online suspense. There are a range of alternatives to a romantic drink, be it a friendly coffee, or simply asking the rep if they could sort another pairing. The notion that it is acceptable to blank a message is deeply flawed, and generally stems from a certain kind of self righteousness; students sat around laughing at the Facebook profile of their RAG Blind Date who they are deciding to ignore is inherently toxic.

Furthermore, it is easy to lose sight of the principle purpose of the event; to raise money for charity. There is a sad irony in the knowledge that one of RAG’s 2018-19 chosen charities was Mind, a charity dedicated to helping those with mental health problems, and yet some of the behaviour surrounding RAG Blind Date is so blatantly disrespectful and belittling of the mental disposition of others. By no means is it a step too far to suggest that ignoring a message from a RAG blind date could directly induce anxiety and damage self-esteem.

For all the bizarreness of Cambridge students, there is an incredible array of wonderful and interesting people out there. RAG Blind Date provides a unique opportunity to meet someone interesting outside of what might be your usual social circles, while supporting some brilliant charities. As easy as it is to ignore a message from a pairing if they don’t initially seem your type, such a small gesture can have such a damaging effect, and getting out of one’s comfort zone to meet someone new is something we should all be able to take joy from.