It cannot be denied that with a pantomime a certain amount of absurdity, cheesiness and terrible humour is expected. Having escaped the trials of the Christmas panto for many years—not being a child or an unfortunate teacher required to attend for tradition—I was not truly prepared for this. Treasure Island offers a reminder of what I was, or rather was not, missing out on.

This show provides panto spirit in spades. It has the love story, the evil guy in a black coat and the side character whose entire purpose is to hype up the audience—very enthusiastically played by Hannah Filer. While these individual aspects have the potential to be a very good pantomime, the story fundamentally lets it down.

Treasure Island follows a group of school children and their teacher as they go on an outlandish geography field trip. Mr Livesey (Jas Ratchford) works at an underfunded school and wants to escape the mockery of rival geography teacher Miss Perfect (Charlotte Dargan). When a totally-not-suspicious pirate offers them a fully funded field trip, they are provided with the perfect opportunity for adventure.

By the end, even the most enthusiastic members of the audience struggled to muster a chuckle

While this may seem simple enough, the longer this play went on, the more confusion set in. The first half was certainly the strongest, with some great one-liners and a relatively understandable plot. But by the end, even the most enthusiastic members of the audience struggled to muster a chuckle. In trying to be unexpected and shoehorn in everything a pantomime needs, the play lacks cohesion and often feels like a series of sketches huddled together in a clichéd horse costume.

It tends to drag, particularly by the last few scenes. Indeed, as is mentioned in the play itself, one can define a pantomime like this one as ‘a show that goes on for far too long’—a pleasantly self-aware gag. After all, if you make a joke about something, no one can criticise you… right?

The love story is also painfully contrived. The schoolgirl relationship between Jemima (Alice Roberts) and Lily (Louisa Grinyer) lacks charm and is more of a forced nod in the direction of inclusivity than something to build the entire plot around. The attempt to recreate last year’s successful celebration of being yourself falls very flat.

That is not to say that there are no good aspects. The cast have obvious talent with standout performances from Jas Ratchford, Jamie Ellis and Miles Hitchens. While much of the singing left something to be desired, the musical numbers led by Charlotte Dargan and Tom Hayes were fun and enjoyable.

The staging was very effective. The set, designed by Tungsten Tang, is truly excellent. The props and space were all used very well, and nothing seemed superfluous. However, the sound in this performance was far from seamless. Some initial difficulties with mics were followed by a general volume imbalance that consistently left actors overpowered by the backing music.

If I were fifteen years younger or had drunk a few more pints, then this panto would likely have hit the mark. Unfortunately, I was neither. So, if you plan to see Treasure Island, I advise you to go with the right mindset, good humour and a ship-load of patience – you will need it.